Apparently, the Pitt v. Aniston divorce becomes final this Sunday. I, for one, could not be happier. Not because they are getting divorced (I wouldn’t wish that on anyone) but just because it’ll be done and able to both get on with their lives. Honestly, this is just silly. Personally, I blame reality television, movie studios, and Robin Leach. Why? Because they have been producing so much crap lately that America’s love for scandalous drama is going largely unfulfilled amid all the stupid “real people yelling at each other “ faux drama parading about on screens large and small. Remember when you couldn’t flip more than three channels without running across scandalous drama on television? Dallas, Knots Landing, Dynasty, Twin Peaks, 90210, Melrose Place, Silver Spoons…*those* shows knew how to portray scandal. And it was cathartic for those of us with dull ordinary lives.
That’s when Robin Leach shows up with his “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” – instantly exposing middle America to the extravagant lives being lived by actors in Hollywood. We were fascinated by how much their houses looked like movie sets, their clothes looked like costumes, and their “assistants” looked like coked-up strippers. “Heck,” we thought to ourselves, “those people must lead lives just like Blake and Krystle Carrington. I mean, everything they own looks straight off the set of Dynasty!”. Mystified and entranced, we all awaited more…But none was forthcoming. It seems that celebrities have this whole thing about people with cameras walking into their houses to film their collection of hummel figurines. And when the scandalous dramas were kicked off television and replaced by stupid game shows and reality television copycats, America grew angry. And we sent out the paparazzi to quench our thirst for scandal. Robin Leach had shown us the way.
So now celebrities can’t spit in public, go out with friends to a club, roast marshmellows in the woods, or pee themselves without a picture of said event being slapped up on magazines and E! the next day. Given that, is there any real question why Brad and Jen split up? Let’s ask John Gray “PhD” – author of the craptastic collection of common sense labeled as self-help – Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus:
Well, thanks for clearing that up “Doctor” Gray. The way you shed light on such a complex and difficult subject is amazing! No wonder you have a “PhD” in Psychology (to go along with your MA in “the Science of Creative Intelligence” from the Maharishi European Research University).
Next on “Chattin’ with Doc Gray”, the “Doctor” helps us understand why people drown when trapped underwater, why bricks can’t fly, and how you can turn bread into toast using everyday kitchen appliances!
Sheesh…it boggles my mind that people actually think this guy has anything to say that is any different from what their best friends would tell them. Rather proves the point that just because it’s in a book doesn’t make it true.
That’s when Robin Leach shows up with his “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” – instantly exposing middle America to the extravagant lives being lived by actors in Hollywood. We were fascinated by how much their houses looked like movie sets, their clothes looked like costumes, and their “assistants” looked like coked-up strippers. “Heck,” we thought to ourselves, “those people must lead lives just like Blake and Krystle Carrington. I mean, everything they own looks straight off the set of Dynasty!”. Mystified and entranced, we all awaited more…But none was forthcoming. It seems that celebrities have this whole thing about people with cameras walking into their houses to film their collection of hummel figurines. And when the scandalous dramas were kicked off television and replaced by stupid game shows and reality television copycats, America grew angry. And we sent out the paparazzi to quench our thirst for scandal. Robin Leach had shown us the way.
So now celebrities can’t spit in public, go out with friends to a club, roast marshmellows in the woods, or pee themselves without a picture of said event being slapped up on magazines and E! the next day. Given that, is there any real question why Brad and Jen split up? Let’s ask John Gray “PhD” – author of the craptastic collection of common sense labeled as self-help – Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus:
"Aniston and Pitt had very little chance of lasting,'' Gray told The Associated Press. "They started out like the prom king and queen. He was the sexiest man and she the sexiest woman. That kind of pressure makes it hard to make a relationship last.''
Well, thanks for clearing that up “Doctor” Gray. The way you shed light on such a complex and difficult subject is amazing! No wonder you have a “PhD” in Psychology (to go along with your MA in “the Science of Creative Intelligence” from the Maharishi European Research University).
Next on “Chattin’ with Doc Gray”, the “Doctor” helps us understand why people drown when trapped underwater, why bricks can’t fly, and how you can turn bread into toast using everyday kitchen appliances!
Sheesh…it boggles my mind that people actually think this guy has anything to say that is any different from what their best friends would tell them. Rather proves the point that just because it’s in a book doesn’t make it true.
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