Advertising Week, a trade magazine for the ad industry, has released this year’s survey of America’s favorite ad icon. They also have a survey for America’s favorite ad slogan, but that’s not as interesting so I’m not writing about it.
Let’s look at some of the contenders. Note, before we start, you must know that Tony the Tiger, Mr. Peanut, Pillsbury Doughboy, the M&M candies, and the AFLAC Duck are excluded from this year’s poll because they were the winners (top 5) from last year’s poll.
Budweiser Clydesdales: Don’t talk much, but they play football. And they don’t discriminate against minorities. Still, they may like being in the harness a little too much, raising rumors of an underlying S&M fetish. On the other hand, they bring people beer.
California Raisins: Please, these guys were cool for about 12 minutes back in ’88. And who eats raisins anymore?
Cap’n Crunch: I love the Cap’n, but isn’t anyone worried that he has a built-in neck brace in his uniform? Maybe that’s a ploy to get sympathy votes.
Charlie the Tuna: Please, this guy kills dolphins. That’s why he wears a mask.
Coppertone Girl: If this happened today, that dog would be euthanized. But as an ad icon, we think it’s “cute”. How sick are we?
Doublemint Twins: Their schtick is that they look alike. Just like every other set of identical twins. Still, who among us men hasn’t made a “double your pleasure” joke involving them?
Energizer Bunny: Just keeps going and going, could easily do crossover work for Viagra. But of course, you knew I was going to go there.
Geico Gecko: I hate the gecko. I wish those cats had actually eaten it instead of just breaking its arm.
Jolly Green Giant: Yay! I love this guy. Partially because he’s from Minnesota, and partially because when I’m facing an ethical dilemma, I ask myself “WWJGGD?” and it usually sets me straight.
Juan Valdez: He’s not a stereotype because he was invented by Columbians. That makes him a symbol to be proud of.
Keebler Elves: Holy crap! I didn’t know there were that many of them! They’re like mice or cockroaches – where there’s one, there’s more.
Kool-Aid Pitcher: Hmmm…only uses monosyllabic words, prone to fits of random wall-smashing violence, huge “kool-aid” gut…was this the inspiration for Homer Simpson?
Lucky the Leprechaun: Given that those kids are always stealing his lucky charms in full view of insurance adjusters anywhere, could he ever get a homeowner’s policy? Or even renters insurance? So he must be homeless because one would think his other stuff gets stolen too. “Those kids are always after my plasma screen/surround sound combo!”. Yeah, that’s lucky for you…
Maytag Repairman: So, he’s been employed for 20+ years, and he’s never worked a day in his life. Why the heck is he sad? Come do my job for a day, I’ll give you something to be sad about you whiner! Oops, now I’m just cranky.
McGruff the Crime Dog: I always liked him, but he made me fear strangers. Even to this day I think every van on the road with no windows is someone ferrying kidnapped children to a textile mill or an asbestos mine somewhere.
Michelin Man: Poster child for obesity awareness.
Miss Chiquita: Must…resist… “I’ll give you a Chiquita banana” joke…
Morton Salt Girl: Looks too much like a New Orleans resident “finding” food.
Mr. Clean: His eyebrows are white. Either he’s really old or he bleaches them. If he’s old, he’s more buff than I ever will be. He’s a bald Jack Lalaine. If he bleaches them, then he’s obviously got a little OCD. He’s a bald David Sedaris.
Nike Swooch: I don’t think this even belongs in this contest. A swoosh is a logo not an icon. Sheesh, we admit this and then god knows what would be allowed in; Britney’s navel?
Ronald McDonald: Oh, this guy is sooooooo gonna win. Who doesn’t like Ronald? If you don’t then you’re a terrommunist! That’s right, a combination terrorist and communist. Take that. You’d better be lovin’ it.
Seat Belt Dummies: Isn’t is just a bit weird that the message these guys promote is that seat belts keep you from getting killed in a car accident, but for all the accidents without seat belts that they get into they always come out fine?
Snap, Crackle, and Pop: Remember when they were just elves, before they got all skateboard and hip-hop? Yeah, because Tony Hawk and Jay-Z don’t leave the house without a big bowl of Rice Krispies for breakfast…
Smokey Bear: What other icon uses the threat of physical violence to push their message? I love this guy. His message is “Start a forest fire and I’ll personally come down there and kick your ass. Yeah, I’m talking to you punk. You think you can take me? You think you and your tribal armband tattoo and your Zippo lighter can bring it? Go for it man, I’m a friggin BEAR. Hmph, I thought so. Now put that fire out.”
Trix Rabbit: Come to think of it, when was the last time you saw a commercial for Trix? Has anyone see the Trix Rabbit lately? Maybe he just disappeared like Amelia Earhart. Maybe he disappeared with Amelia Earhart…
Vlasic Stork: I can’t get into pickles. It looks too much like green poo floating in a jar. And I don’t trust birds that tell me to eat poo because it’s “crunchy”.
In the end, my predicted top five are:
#1) Ronald McDonald
#2) Smokey Bear
#3) Budweiser Clydesdales
#4) Nike Swoosh (because people are tools)
#5) Maytag Repairman
Let’s look at some of the contenders. Note, before we start, you must know that Tony the Tiger, Mr. Peanut, Pillsbury Doughboy, the M&M candies, and the AFLAC Duck are excluded from this year’s poll because they were the winners (top 5) from last year’s poll.
Budweiser Clydesdales: Don’t talk much, but they play football. And they don’t discriminate against minorities. Still, they may like being in the harness a little too much, raising rumors of an underlying S&M fetish. On the other hand, they bring people beer.
California Raisins: Please, these guys were cool for about 12 minutes back in ’88. And who eats raisins anymore?
Cap’n Crunch: I love the Cap’n, but isn’t anyone worried that he has a built-in neck brace in his uniform? Maybe that’s a ploy to get sympathy votes.
Charlie the Tuna: Please, this guy kills dolphins. That’s why he wears a mask.
Coppertone Girl: If this happened today, that dog would be euthanized. But as an ad icon, we think it’s “cute”. How sick are we?
Doublemint Twins: Their schtick is that they look alike. Just like every other set of identical twins. Still, who among us men hasn’t made a “double your pleasure” joke involving them?
Energizer Bunny: Just keeps going and going, could easily do crossover work for Viagra. But of course, you knew I was going to go there.
Geico Gecko: I hate the gecko. I wish those cats had actually eaten it instead of just breaking its arm.
Jolly Green Giant: Yay! I love this guy. Partially because he’s from Minnesota, and partially because when I’m facing an ethical dilemma, I ask myself “WWJGGD?” and it usually sets me straight.
Juan Valdez: He’s not a stereotype because he was invented by Columbians. That makes him a symbol to be proud of.
Keebler Elves: Holy crap! I didn’t know there were that many of them! They’re like mice or cockroaches – where there’s one, there’s more.
Kool-Aid Pitcher: Hmmm…only uses monosyllabic words, prone to fits of random wall-smashing violence, huge “kool-aid” gut…was this the inspiration for Homer Simpson?
Lucky the Leprechaun: Given that those kids are always stealing his lucky charms in full view of insurance adjusters anywhere, could he ever get a homeowner’s policy? Or even renters insurance? So he must be homeless because one would think his other stuff gets stolen too. “Those kids are always after my plasma screen/surround sound combo!”. Yeah, that’s lucky for you…
Maytag Repairman: So, he’s been employed for 20+ years, and he’s never worked a day in his life. Why the heck is he sad? Come do my job for a day, I’ll give you something to be sad about you whiner! Oops, now I’m just cranky.
McGruff the Crime Dog: I always liked him, but he made me fear strangers. Even to this day I think every van on the road with no windows is someone ferrying kidnapped children to a textile mill or an asbestos mine somewhere.
Michelin Man: Poster child for obesity awareness.
Miss Chiquita: Must…resist… “I’ll give you a Chiquita banana” joke…
Morton Salt Girl: Looks too much like a New Orleans resident “finding” food.
Mr. Clean: His eyebrows are white. Either he’s really old or he bleaches them. If he’s old, he’s more buff than I ever will be. He’s a bald Jack Lalaine. If he bleaches them, then he’s obviously got a little OCD. He’s a bald David Sedaris.
Nike Swooch: I don’t think this even belongs in this contest. A swoosh is a logo not an icon. Sheesh, we admit this and then god knows what would be allowed in; Britney’s navel?
Ronald McDonald: Oh, this guy is sooooooo gonna win. Who doesn’t like Ronald? If you don’t then you’re a terrommunist! That’s right, a combination terrorist and communist. Take that. You’d better be lovin’ it.
Seat Belt Dummies: Isn’t is just a bit weird that the message these guys promote is that seat belts keep you from getting killed in a car accident, but for all the accidents without seat belts that they get into they always come out fine?
Snap, Crackle, and Pop: Remember when they were just elves, before they got all skateboard and hip-hop? Yeah, because Tony Hawk and Jay-Z don’t leave the house without a big bowl of Rice Krispies for breakfast…
Smokey Bear: What other icon uses the threat of physical violence to push their message? I love this guy. His message is “Start a forest fire and I’ll personally come down there and kick your ass. Yeah, I’m talking to you punk. You think you can take me? You think you and your tribal armband tattoo and your Zippo lighter can bring it? Go for it man, I’m a friggin BEAR. Hmph, I thought so. Now put that fire out.”
Trix Rabbit: Come to think of it, when was the last time you saw a commercial for Trix? Has anyone see the Trix Rabbit lately? Maybe he just disappeared like Amelia Earhart. Maybe he disappeared with Amelia Earhart…
Vlasic Stork: I can’t get into pickles. It looks too much like green poo floating in a jar. And I don’t trust birds that tell me to eat poo because it’s “crunchy”.
In the end, my predicted top five are:
#1) Ronald McDonald
#2) Smokey Bear
#3) Budweiser Clydesdales
#4) Nike Swoosh (because people are tools)
#5) Maytag Repairman
Comments
McDonalds has ditched our loving purple fatty Grimace and his rotund buddies, as they don't want people to buy the notion that Mc Donalds MAY MAKE YOU FAT! Gasp! Sigh.
It's a travesty, really.
Grimace = Shakes
Birdy = Breakfast items
Hamburglar = Hamburgers
Fry Guys = French Fries
Mayor McCheese = Cheeseburger
Chief Big Mac = Big Macs
But these days, it'd be hard to maintain characters for every menu item so that kids could keep them straight without devolving into a Simpson's-esque collection of dozens of characters.
BTW, did you know that Grimace was EVIL when he was first created? Yup. Right up there with Hamburgler. He used to have three pairs of arms to help steal other people's milkshakes.