So about this doctor in Oregon, the guy’s obviously a freak-o. But my question is why did it take a year for this woman to file the suit? Did her back get better, but only temporarily? Is this new miracle cure being hushed up by the moral majority?
Think of it, if we could prove that sex provides relief from back pain, imagine the changes that would instantly occur in society:
- All the listings in the yellow pages under “Escort Services” would immediately re-list themselves under “Chiropractors”
- The phrase “Honey, I’ve got a backache” would become the hot new pick-up line; alternatively, “Boy, my back is killing me” if you want to be more subtle about it
- All EMT’s would need to be replaced with sexy swimsuit models (both genders, to be fair), so as to provide the best treatment. Calls to 911 would skyrocket so much that they would need to create a new number – 969 – specifically for back pain "emergencies". William Shatner would be tapped to host "Rescue 969" on the Spice Network.
- Hugh Hefner’s unnaturally healthy spine-of-a-25-year-old would finally be explained by medical science
- Lawsuits complaining of pain and suffering due to back injuries would all be thrown out, with the judges telling the plaintiffs “Get out of my courtroom you lucky bastard!”
Awesome! All right everyone, I’m off to go pick up heavy things without bending my knees…
Comments
THat's like "Doctor, I have this tickle in my throat!"
"Oh here, let me scratch it for you with my cock?!"
Ewwwwwwwwwww... yuck!
G: My back is fine, thank you.
K: You're right, this would seem odd for us who live in the big city, but this was Oregon. Maybe he had been escalating the crazy treatments over time, so that the boinking wouldn't seem to weird. Starting a few months earlier with "Here, try some Echineacia" and moving up through successively higher levels of crazy (e.g. magnetic belts, hypnosis, leeches, LSD, "Female hysteria" treatment, etc). By the time you've made it through all that, I'd expect boinking would seem perfectly logical.