Monday, April 04, 2005

The King is dead...and no, I don't mean the Pope

Yesterday I thought I would try doing a web search for this blog. Idle curiosity, perhaps, but probably also a teensy weensy bit of ego, I admit. I think it’s similar to the “one man’s search for validation of his existence” theme made popular by popular culture and great film (“Page 73, Johnson, Navin, R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book every day!”). I was also inspired by the fact that someone found this blog by searching for the term “dora's adorable pet shop fire lucky turtle” in Yahoo Search. Frankly, I don’t know who you are Mr./Ms. Internet Searcher, but I have to respect your specificity in your search terms. Come to think of it, it sounds like they could have been searching for lyrics to a Japanese pop song, too but that is neither here nor there.

Needless to say I was a little disappointed to discover that according to Google, I don’t exist, but John Q. Public was able to find me on Yahoo. This I found to be very interesting. Why was it that the search engine almost universally regarded as being the pinnacle of human innovation of the 21st Century could so completely fail at finding my collection of random musings and otherwise useless verbage when the perennial also-rans Yahoo (and even Ask Jeeves for the love of Pete!) not only knew of me but could give you a complete review of the blog’s entire life? I’m a little disappointed, and also somewhat chagrined, because I have a friend here at work who always used Yahoo Search almost exclusively, and I gave her much grief for it. Oh well, at least MSN Search doesn’t…AAAUUUGGGGGHHH!!! Holy cow, even MSN Search finds me! It even gives the blog as this only result!!! Well dip me in chocolate and call me a creamy nougat center…

So how does one fix this? Who does one call at Google to let them know that they are broken? Well, it turns out that there isn’t a person to call, but Google does have a
site you can use to submit URL’s to be added to their system. I’ve already filled out the form, so we’ll see how long it takes for them to come to their senses and recognize the overwhelming mediocrity that is this collection of musings. I’ll let you know how long it takes. I’m still disappointed though…it’s like the day I found out the Easter bunny wasn’t real.

3 comments:

Spice said...

Google can find my blog, but not my homepage. I submitted my homepage to that 'submit a site' page months ago, and it still doesn't come up. So good luck with that!

grrrbear said...

[Update]

In only three hours after posting this, I've gotten three hits on the blog from the Ask Jeeves domain. This leads me to believe that AJ is nowhere near as incompetant as one would think, and that their bots are constantly scanning the entire internet looking for any mention of them. It's a little scary. Come to think of it, if you slapped a pair of sunglasses on that mascot of theirs, he *would* look a little like Agent Smith...

Man, I knew I should've taken the blue pill.

J.Bro said...

I'm the first hit when I google my own blog (although it's from a long-ago post - one that got lots of hits from other google searches - is that how the google engine works?), but only the third when I google my name.

The first is a swimmer at Butler, and the second contains this -

"Two Clay County men are under arrest for their role in the illegal shipping of twenty-three (23) pounds of marijuana into Clay County. Jeffrey Goodson (DOB 9/9/76), a resident of 2473 Ridgewood Avenue in Orange Park, and Jason Brozek (DOB 5/4/74), a resident of 189 Jefferson Avenue East in Orange Park, were both arrested this week on charges of Possession of Cannabis Over 20 Pounds with Intent to Sell and Possession of Drug Paraphernalia."

After all, Elmo seems equally disinterested in both...

I have a hard time believing that Elmo was traumatized by Katy Perry's decollatage after discovering that he had already "been arou...