Thursday, May 19, 2005

No subject line could capture the range of things covered in this one

Apparently, once you get into the Google database, it takes about two and a half days for changes/additions to be catalogued in their system. I realized this when I suddenly noticed a spike in traffic from Google consisting of people looking for various combinations of the words “lions”, “Cambodia”, and “midgets”. Apparently, I’m now in the top 5 results of those searches. I feel better knowing that I’m helping people, and also that I’m possibly averting a massive invasion of said country (once we’re done creating out newest enemy in Iraq) by disproving that story on Monday. For that matter, I’m also one of the top places people who are looking for how to start their own auto repair shops. Hmm…yeah, that I’m really going to be less helpful with.

Dinner with the GF’s folks went well. I tried to be as pleasant and non-annoying as possible, and early reports from the GF are that was accomplished. On a personal note, I was seriously impressed by her dad’s ability to parallel park with the ginormous rental car they had. It was truly awe-inspiring. The food was wonderful, the company was excellent, and overall I had a great time. This bodes well, methinks.

In other news today it seems that Texans have finally begun to rise up against their majority oppressors. Naturally, I’m not talking about the people of Texas, who don’t actually rise up against anything but invasions of the Mexican army (“Creationism in the public schools? Fine. Cults building compounds in the desert? Sure, whatever. Bush for another four years? Heck, at least he speaks proper English. WHAT? Santa Ana is leading 40,000 Mexican infantrymen across the Rio Grande!?!? TO THE WALLS!…Wait…wait…those are only 40,000 South American Fire Ants. Let the midgets take care of ‘em.”).

No, I’m talking about the
bloodthirsty flocks of grackles, which have been mauling passerby in downtown Houston. Experts claim that the grackles are simply protecting their young. Myself, I don’t buy it. Did you notice who got attacked? Yep, a lawyer and a government bureaucrat. Ladies and gentlemen, these grackles aren’t aggressive parents – they are libertarians! And they are obviously pissed. Probably because so many of their tax dollars are going to fund massive government programs such as privatizing social security and paying for I-wreck while such obvious needs as low-income nesting, worm stamps, and yolkionic stem-cell research get shafted. I say, good for them. They’ve been disenfranchised by the constitution, have no representative in the congress, and let’s face it – it’s gotta be freakin sweltering in Houston about now. I’d be losing it too if I were them. So I say “Peck on my brothers in wings! FREEDOM!!!!!”.

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