Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Your source for midget news!

Almost a week after the original post, this blog is still the recognized leader in the niche market of people looking for more info on the alleged “42 midgets vs. a lion” story. I now present a short list of search terms related to the topic where I reign supreme, at least as of lunchtime today:

midgets attacked by lions” – CNN.com
midget army Cambodia lion” – google.com.au
midget army Cambodia” – google.com.au
Cambodian army of midgets” – google.com
midget army vs. lion bbc” – google.ca

And some others where I’m still a force to be reckoned with:

lion fights midgets” – google.com (#10)
African lion vs. midgets” – google.com (#15)
lion fights midgets in Cambodia” – yahoo.com (#26)

What I’ve learned from this are several interesting points about the world and how it works:

1) Those Aussies sure have a great country-specific Google site!
2) So do the Canucks!
3) CNN knows a good source when it sees it, unlike those shifty characters at CBS News or Newsweek.
4) Apparently, my essay attracts people searching for an army of midgets. Whether or not it takes only 42 midgets to form an army is probably a topic of debate. I don’t know if I’d even consider 42 regular sized people (even tall ones) to be an army. Maybe a “gang” or a “band”. But probably not an army…
5) Adding another post about said midget fighting lions and their Cambodian army training will probably only increase the number of complete strangers stumbling through my blog like Cubs fans wandering through Wrigleyville.

Come to think of it, if I added postings about internet porn, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, American Idol, and the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes “creepy Hollywood pairing of the month” my traffic might grow to the point where I’d be a blog-god among men. But that seems desperate, and I hold myself to a higher standard. Besides, I need to keep my hipster street cred.

2 comments:

Spice said...

My blog got a hit from someone who googled 'rotisserie hamster.' Hee! And now, your blog will come up for that as well...

Anonymous said...

Thought you'd enjoy this:
Midget Bullfighters

After all, Elmo seems equally disinterested in both...

I have a hard time believing that Elmo was traumatized by Katy Perry's decollatage after discovering that he had already "been arou...