Of course, skirts usually don't have pockets, but still

99% of the time, I’m incredibly happy to be a guy. There are just so many reasons why it’s better to be a guy than a gal – even if you exclude all the societal crap (e.g. salary discrepancies, workplace discrimination). I also don’t have to worry about being a target of mind-bogglingly silly research by mind-bogglingly silly women’s magazines. I suppose, though, one could argue that Maxim’s Hot 100 list is nothing more than a giant survey of men (by a mind-bogglingly silly men’s magazine) of “Which celebrity do you want to boink the most”.

Despite that, I think the fact that the list is now considered the authoritative voice on who America wants to boink (complete with hourlong TV specials) has moved it from “mind-bogglingly silly” to “respected academic research”. Therefore, Maxim has obviously moved from “mind-bogglingly silly mens magazine” to “monthly academic journal”; meaning kids - if your high school library doesn’t have an archive of copies freely available for your research paper on “Which Light Beer Sucks the Least” you can sue them for limiting your access to academic research!

Despite the obvious advantages of guy-ness, there is one aspect of womanhood that I do envy during this time of the year – the ability to wear skirts. It’s been so frigging hot in Chicago for the last week that I can hardly stand it. Yet everywhere I see women in skirts looking perfectly comfortable. I imagine that it would feel something like walking around wearing nothing more than underwear and what is essentially a belt. That must rule.

Comments

Unknown said…
Does that mean I can put "What Women Really Mean When They Say...." on my C.V.?
J.Po said…
I friggin love skirts. I did not embrace this love until I embraced my femaninity, which occurred roughly 4 years ago (although peaked out from ages 13-25). You could always wear a kilt, by you don't have the cultural background for justification.
JYates said…
If you wore a skirt, would you shave your legs? Just wondering.
grrrbear said…
Wow, whoda thunk wishful musings on cross-dressing would be such a popular topic?

J.Bro - That depends, did you *write* the article for publication or just read it? Do you put every article you read in your CV? If you did write that article however, I applaud your work - you must get boatloads of cash in federal grants...

J.Po - I *am* pasty enough to be considered scottish. Too bad the Irish aren't as reknowned for kilts...are they? Hmmm...

Clare - I do shorts all the time, but they are still hotter than what I imagine a skirt would be like because of the better circulation of air. Plus, since I'm a straight man I'm limited in how short my shorts can be. Daisy Dukes are out.

G-Man - Probably not That's just too much work (one of the aforementioned reasons it's better to be a guy).