On the way into work this morning I found myself following a red pickup truck with a variety of decals and stickers in the back window. Pretty standard collection of stuff, but it revealed a lot about the person inside.
- Sticker #1 = Marines Logo
- Sticker #2 = Pirate flag (skull and crossbones)
- Sticker #3 = Jesus fish
So, what you are trying to tell the world is that you are a marine, and therefore are big and tough. You also seem to imply that you are a pirate, and therefore I should drive carefully and quickly around you for fear of being boarded and having all my booty plundered. This would seem to be in agreement with the first sticker, since one would expect that pirates would be big and tough (and also seagoing).
The third sticker though, throws everything out of order. It would imply that before boarding any of your fellow drivers, you always ask yourself “What would Jesus pillage?” which seems neither very Christian nor very big and tough. Therefore, logically, one of the stickers must be out of place. Are you a big and tough pirate (ignore the Jesus one), a red-state poster child (ignore the pirate one), or a swashbuckling but kind-hearted buccaneer – a la the Dread Pirate Roberts (ignore the Marines one)?
Well? Which is it? Make up your mind people!!!*
* Naturally, when I passed the truck, I saw that it was being driven by a mousy little lady in her mid-40’s. So presumably she either bought the truck like that or she carjacked the original owner and stole his truck (which would put her in the big-and-tough-pirate category, I suppose).
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