In today’s gleaning of current events - more evidence that lawyers are silly, silly creatures!
First up: the story of Debra Lafave, America’s latest entrant in the “crazy but hot women who seduce teenage boys” fad that’s sweeping the nation (see also: Pamela Smart, Mary Kay Letourneau). Apparently, she seduced her 14 year old student and is now facing prison time. She’s now going to plead insanity (apparently using the “But she’s so hot! Why else would she boink a 14 year old instead of just hitting the bars?” defense) because the plea deal she was negotiating fell through – they wanted her to serve too much time in prison. The public statement made by the lawyer to explain this went as follows: “To place an attractive young woman in that kind of hell hole is like putting a piece of raw meat in with the lions…I’m not sure she would survive”.
So, wait a minute…you’re saying that if she was ugly, she would be fine with being thrown into prison. But since she’s attractive, America should be worried about her well-being in prison? Well, naturally that makes sense. Sheesh, is this why so many pretty people think they can get away with everything? (Another great example here from our friends at Waiter Rant – the “Because I’m Pretty?” entry)
Up next in crazy lawyer comments news: Colin Ferrell is apparently just as stupid as the rest of Hollywood. He has apparently filed a lawsuit against an ex-girlfriend to stop her from distributing a sex tape they made, claiming that releasing the tape “would irreparably harm Ferrell’s reputation and career”.
Ooooohhhh, where to begin? First, after all the celebrity sex tapes that have popped up (e.g. Pamela and Tommy, Paris Hilton, Eve, Pamela and Brett Michaels, Gina Lee Nolin, and so on, and so on, and so on) why would anyone (much less a celebrity) allow a camera in the bedroom anymore? Second, how does having a sex tape harm Colin Ferrell’s reputation? Given his penchant for bad-boy living, doesn’t the tape enhance said reputation? And finally as for his career, I think his lawyers will have a hard time arguing that Paris Hilton’s career was damaged when her tape surfaced…hmmm…maybe this is why all the Hollywood celebs are making them these days. In that case maybe this is only the beginning. Maybe the sex tape is replacing the casting couch as the self-promotional tool for up-and comers in Hollywood. I can see it now…
“Well, we’ve been here all day gentlemen and I think we’ve got a strong cast built up for Schindler’s List II. We just have to cast the love interest for Shindler’s young son Cody, the brooding young industrialist scion trying to make a difference in society while maintaining his playboy lifestyle. Now we’ve narrowed it down to Glenn Close, Diane Lane, Jodie Foster, and Paris Hilton….”
“Before you go any farther Steve, I think I speak for everyone at the table when I say this is a no brainer. Paris Hilton’s sex tape was far and above the best of any of those candidates, I say the part is hers!”
[Murmurs of agreement]
“Well, you make a good point Chase. Sounds like we’ve got a winner here, who wants cocktails?”
[Cheers]
First up: the story of Debra Lafave, America’s latest entrant in the “crazy but hot women who seduce teenage boys” fad that’s sweeping the nation (see also: Pamela Smart, Mary Kay Letourneau). Apparently, she seduced her 14 year old student and is now facing prison time. She’s now going to plead insanity (apparently using the “But she’s so hot! Why else would she boink a 14 year old instead of just hitting the bars?” defense) because the plea deal she was negotiating fell through – they wanted her to serve too much time in prison. The public statement made by the lawyer to explain this went as follows: “To place an attractive young woman in that kind of hell hole is like putting a piece of raw meat in with the lions…I’m not sure she would survive”.
So, wait a minute…you’re saying that if she was ugly, she would be fine with being thrown into prison. But since she’s attractive, America should be worried about her well-being in prison? Well, naturally that makes sense. Sheesh, is this why so many pretty people think they can get away with everything? (Another great example here from our friends at Waiter Rant – the “Because I’m Pretty?” entry)
Up next in crazy lawyer comments news: Colin Ferrell is apparently just as stupid as the rest of Hollywood. He has apparently filed a lawsuit against an ex-girlfriend to stop her from distributing a sex tape they made, claiming that releasing the tape “would irreparably harm Ferrell’s reputation and career”.
Ooooohhhh, where to begin? First, after all the celebrity sex tapes that have popped up (e.g. Pamela and Tommy, Paris Hilton, Eve, Pamela and Brett Michaels, Gina Lee Nolin, and so on, and so on, and so on) why would anyone (much less a celebrity) allow a camera in the bedroom anymore? Second, how does having a sex tape harm Colin Ferrell’s reputation? Given his penchant for bad-boy living, doesn’t the tape enhance said reputation? And finally as for his career, I think his lawyers will have a hard time arguing that Paris Hilton’s career was damaged when her tape surfaced…hmmm…maybe this is why all the Hollywood celebs are making them these days. In that case maybe this is only the beginning. Maybe the sex tape is replacing the casting couch as the self-promotional tool for up-and comers in Hollywood. I can see it now…
“Well, we’ve been here all day gentlemen and I think we’ve got a strong cast built up for Schindler’s List II. We just have to cast the love interest for Shindler’s young son Cody, the brooding young industrialist scion trying to make a difference in society while maintaining his playboy lifestyle. Now we’ve narrowed it down to Glenn Close, Diane Lane, Jodie Foster, and Paris Hilton….”
“Before you go any farther Steve, I think I speak for everyone at the table when I say this is a no brainer. Paris Hilton’s sex tape was far and above the best of any of those candidates, I say the part is hers!”
[Murmurs of agreement]
“Well, you make a good point Chase. Sounds like we’ve got a winner here, who wants cocktails?”
[Cheers]
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