In the past 24 hours I have had at least three good ideas for topics to blog about enter my brain and throw massive, wild parties to show off what great ideas they were. We all danced, laughed, and shook our respective thangs. But then I get distracted by the real world or a particularly attractive daydream and when I finally get back to mentally refining the blog topic, I find that the party’s left town – I’ve completely forgotten what I was thinking. It’s like waking up after the party’s over all cotton-mouthy and wondering how you lost your boxers but not your pants.
It’s particularly difficult for me because I have a hyperactive imagination that is prone to daydreams. My daydreams are also usually recurring, or at least cover similar subject areas. Sometimes it makes paying attention really difficult, especially when I’m bored (e.g. departmental meetings, waiting in line, watching the latest Woody Allen movie). Poe once said “Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.” If this is indeed the case, I’m mind-bogglingly cognizant. So cognizant in fact that I’m aware of things that I’ve never heard of.
Most of my daydreams fall into one of a few select genres. While I know that I could theoretically daydream about anything, I’ve narrowed it down in order to make sliding into the daydream easier. Thus, I present to you my top 4 daydream topics. Hopefully, there are some new ones for you to try out the next time you’re stuck watching a Woody Allen movie against your will:
Topic 1 – Ethical Dilemmas Posed by Having Magic Powers
It should surprise nobody that as a much younger nerdling I played a fair amount of Dungeons and Dragons, where I usually played as a wizard. No doubt, my choice of characters helped develop this topic. I usually daydream only slightly about what I would do with magical powers, choosing instead focus on the tough choices I’d have to face provided I develop them in the near future. Would I come out as a public wizard, solving problems such as pollution and cancer in broad swaths of goodness? If so, would I seek to earn a living as a wizard by performing magical acts of lesser magnitude? How much would I charge the city of Chicago to enchant all their streets to keep them from cracking and prevent potholes? Would it be unethical to do so in light of all the contracting jobs that would no longer be put out to bid for local contractors?
Alternatively, would I maintain a secret identity (always wearing a deep hood so nobody could see my face) popping up here and there to save people from fires and Ecuadorian attack dogs? The advantage is that I’d at least get to have something of a private life. I could go out to a play without having people ask me to magically restore their thinning hair. But I’d always have to carry the hood around just in case a disaster happened, and then there’s the trouble of finding a phone booth to change in these days…
Or would I simply be a behind the scenes power broker – deciding the results of elections, influencing powerful people into not being such bastards about screwing everyone else over, and “accidentally” releasing Microsoft’s source code for Windows on the internet? But then I’d see politicians taking all the credit for the good works I’d done. Or the radical Christian right would say Jesus did everything).
Topic 2 – Superpowers
Another favorite topic, similar to Topic #1. While I often address some of the same ethical dilemmas as in #1, my superpower daydreams are often much more focused on choosing the actual superpower itself. Because I like to make things difficult for myself, I never imagine myself having multiple superpowers a la Superman. Typically, I limit myself to one or two, and then think about which powers I would want. Frequently, this involves choosing between two comparable powers (e.g. flying vs. the ability to talk to animals, mind reading vs. x-ray vision, shape-shifting vs. telekinesis, etc).
Then there’s always the “Superhero? Or not to Superhero?” debate. Whether or not to be a glorified superhero or just use my powers to help out around the house and play jokes on people.
I don’t use this topic as often as topic #1 simply because superpowers are inherently more limiting in their scope. With magic you can do just about anything whereas superpowers are pretty much a one-trick pony. So I usually use this one when time is limited because it’s easier to move onto other things knowing that my daydream has covered all superpower bases.
Topic 3 – Women
Not the sort of naughty things that you’d picture a guy daydreaming about (well, not all the time) but more the sort of hypotheticals that we men use to calibrate our massively complex algorithms for what we find attractive. Comparisons and choices mostly, based on a genre that I think up at the moment, typically of the “Who would I date” variety. For example, I think of the genre “Women who died under mysterious circumstances” the topic boils down to choosing which girl from that genre would I date if I was given the option (in this case – Natalie Wood beats out Amelia Earhart by a significant margin). Other sample genres could include “women from old Hollywood” (Vivien Leigh), “women who guest starred on Friends” (Elle Macpherson), “women who are cartoons” (Jessica Rabbit - duh), and “women from the James Bond movies" (Domino from Thunderball).
Alternatively, sometimes I’ll go in the other direction, picking two women I find unattractive and trying to decide which I’d choose if a gun was held to my head. Genres here include “women who are stupid” (Paris Hilton or Britney Spears), “women who run empires” (Martha Stewart or Oprah Winfrey), “women from reality television” (Sharon Ozbourne or That Gotti Woman). Typically, these choices are much more difficult than the other kind.
I don’t use this topic as often as I once did, but that’s just because the GF has thrown off the scale a bit. It’s tough to choose between the apple and the orange when I’ve already got passion fruit. Elle Macpherson just can’t compare - it’s not fair, really.
Topic 4 – Hey I’m a Millionaire
I usually only use this one on the rare occasions when I’ve bought a lottery ticket. I don’t buy them unless the jackpot is well over $100 million (typically, being an uber-nerd, I calculate the expected value of winning and wait until the actual prize value makes the expected value more then the $1 cost of a ticket). But I think about how much I’d invest for a future income stream, how much I’d donate to charity (and which charities I’d choose), how much I’d give to family, how much I’d put into building my own Batcave, etc. It’s hard to spend much time on this one because I’ve already gone over it so many times most of it’s already planned out. Now I’m just refining the main plan.
There they are, my top 4 distractions for when I have good blog ideas. In fact, I can’t even remember what the original idea for this posting was. I had a point when it started, dammit. Oh well, maybe I’ll remember tomorrow…
It’s particularly difficult for me because I have a hyperactive imagination that is prone to daydreams. My daydreams are also usually recurring, or at least cover similar subject areas. Sometimes it makes paying attention really difficult, especially when I’m bored (e.g. departmental meetings, waiting in line, watching the latest Woody Allen movie). Poe once said “Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.” If this is indeed the case, I’m mind-bogglingly cognizant. So cognizant in fact that I’m aware of things that I’ve never heard of.
Most of my daydreams fall into one of a few select genres. While I know that I could theoretically daydream about anything, I’ve narrowed it down in order to make sliding into the daydream easier. Thus, I present to you my top 4 daydream topics. Hopefully, there are some new ones for you to try out the next time you’re stuck watching a Woody Allen movie against your will:
Topic 1 – Ethical Dilemmas Posed by Having Magic Powers
It should surprise nobody that as a much younger nerdling I played a fair amount of Dungeons and Dragons, where I usually played as a wizard. No doubt, my choice of characters helped develop this topic. I usually daydream only slightly about what I would do with magical powers, choosing instead focus on the tough choices I’d have to face provided I develop them in the near future. Would I come out as a public wizard, solving problems such as pollution and cancer in broad swaths of goodness? If so, would I seek to earn a living as a wizard by performing magical acts of lesser magnitude? How much would I charge the city of Chicago to enchant all their streets to keep them from cracking and prevent potholes? Would it be unethical to do so in light of all the contracting jobs that would no longer be put out to bid for local contractors?
Alternatively, would I maintain a secret identity (always wearing a deep hood so nobody could see my face) popping up here and there to save people from fires and Ecuadorian attack dogs? The advantage is that I’d at least get to have something of a private life. I could go out to a play without having people ask me to magically restore their thinning hair. But I’d always have to carry the hood around just in case a disaster happened, and then there’s the trouble of finding a phone booth to change in these days…
Or would I simply be a behind the scenes power broker – deciding the results of elections, influencing powerful people into not being such bastards about screwing everyone else over, and “accidentally” releasing Microsoft’s source code for Windows on the internet? But then I’d see politicians taking all the credit for the good works I’d done. Or the radical Christian right would say Jesus did everything).
Topic 2 – Superpowers
Another favorite topic, similar to Topic #1. While I often address some of the same ethical dilemmas as in #1, my superpower daydreams are often much more focused on choosing the actual superpower itself. Because I like to make things difficult for myself, I never imagine myself having multiple superpowers a la Superman. Typically, I limit myself to one or two, and then think about which powers I would want. Frequently, this involves choosing between two comparable powers (e.g. flying vs. the ability to talk to animals, mind reading vs. x-ray vision, shape-shifting vs. telekinesis, etc).
Then there’s always the “Superhero? Or not to Superhero?” debate. Whether or not to be a glorified superhero or just use my powers to help out around the house and play jokes on people.
I don’t use this topic as often as topic #1 simply because superpowers are inherently more limiting in their scope. With magic you can do just about anything whereas superpowers are pretty much a one-trick pony. So I usually use this one when time is limited because it’s easier to move onto other things knowing that my daydream has covered all superpower bases.
Topic 3 – Women
Not the sort of naughty things that you’d picture a guy daydreaming about (well, not all the time) but more the sort of hypotheticals that we men use to calibrate our massively complex algorithms for what we find attractive. Comparisons and choices mostly, based on a genre that I think up at the moment, typically of the “Who would I date” variety. For example, I think of the genre “Women who died under mysterious circumstances” the topic boils down to choosing which girl from that genre would I date if I was given the option (in this case – Natalie Wood beats out Amelia Earhart by a significant margin). Other sample genres could include “women from old Hollywood” (Vivien Leigh), “women who guest starred on Friends” (Elle Macpherson), “women who are cartoons” (Jessica Rabbit - duh), and “women from the James Bond movies" (Domino from Thunderball).
Alternatively, sometimes I’ll go in the other direction, picking two women I find unattractive and trying to decide which I’d choose if a gun was held to my head. Genres here include “women who are stupid” (Paris Hilton or Britney Spears), “women who run empires” (Martha Stewart or Oprah Winfrey), “women from reality television” (Sharon Ozbourne or That Gotti Woman). Typically, these choices are much more difficult than the other kind.
I don’t use this topic as often as I once did, but that’s just because the GF has thrown off the scale a bit. It’s tough to choose between the apple and the orange when I’ve already got passion fruit. Elle Macpherson just can’t compare - it’s not fair, really.
Topic 4 – Hey I’m a Millionaire
I usually only use this one on the rare occasions when I’ve bought a lottery ticket. I don’t buy them unless the jackpot is well over $100 million (typically, being an uber-nerd, I calculate the expected value of winning and wait until the actual prize value makes the expected value more then the $1 cost of a ticket). But I think about how much I’d invest for a future income stream, how much I’d donate to charity (and which charities I’d choose), how much I’d give to family, how much I’d put into building my own Batcave, etc. It’s hard to spend much time on this one because I’ve already gone over it so many times most of it’s already planned out. Now I’m just refining the main plan.
There they are, my top 4 distractions for when I have good blog ideas. In fact, I can’t even remember what the original idea for this posting was. I had a point when it started, dammit. Oh well, maybe I’ll remember tomorrow…
Comments
How about Hugh Grant vs. Colin Firth? (nattering English nabobs)
Ben vs. Casey? (Afflecks)
Superman vs. Batman? (cartoon or movie versions - if the later, Christian Bale wins hands down!)
Mr. Mom (Michael Keaton) vs. Mr. 3000 (Bernie Mac)?
Spongebob vs. Chandler Bing/Chanandeler Bong? (potentially gay funnymen)
Don't know about the others.
I often have the "What if I won the lottery" distraction - me and my brother usually discuss is several times a year or more.