No wonder scientists are trying to resurrect mammoths from frozen DNA

It was an exceptionally long day at work yesterday, meaning I didn't get home early enough to write up the next chapter of me and the GF's adventures in Minnesota. I'll catch up tonight, but because I feel an obligation to have something new this morning, I'll just describe my theory of how men will eventually end up being rounded up and put in camps so women can run the world by themselves.

In the old days, men's jobs were simple and clearly defined. Men went out and killed mammoths, declared and fought wars, and provided sperm for the next generation. Women, on the other hand, hung out for billions of years honing their multitasking skills (parenting plus cooking/cleaning) and negotiating skills (haggling in the marketplace, getting the cave-husband to wash the mammoth blood off before sex).

As humankind has evolved, multitasking and negotiating skills have become more valuable due to their importance in politics and business. Mammoth killing and war, on the other hand became increasingly irrelevant. This left sperm as the single remaining contribution that men make. Some men discovered a talent for the arts, but they frequently took themselves out of the gene pool early due to fast living (Mozart), suicide (Hemingway), or syphilis (Van Gogh).

Well, now, thanks to the Brits, even sperm might not be enough to keep us around much longer. It's only a matter of a few years before we're all phased out fellas, so quick - pick up a paintbrush, develop your acting skills, finish that novel! Because if you don't it's off to the camps where we'll be viewed by passing tour groups much like a pack of hyenas in the zoo.

Comments

towwas said…
I cover reproduction, so you'd think I would know, and I could not tell what that article was about. I think the idea is that you'd still use the mom and dad's nuclear DNA, but basically let another woman's cytoplasm do the heavy lifting? To get around mitochondrial disorders?
grrrbear said…
You are also a woman, so you think you'd be in the "inner circle" anyway, and are probably feigning ignorance until you can send the unitard-clad ninja-assassins from Octopussy to have me "silenced".

But, in hindsight, I do think you have it right. Sperm is still necesary to create the nucleus. Whew! I'll sleep much easier tonight.
towwas said…
Dude, the thing about the unitard-clad ninja assassins was supposed to be between you and me.
grrrbear said…
Oh crap, now the world knows. Forget I said anything everybody!

*Now* I'm in trouble...