Yesterday morning on the way into work, I stopped into the local Walgreens to pick up some more allergy medication. Because my allergies usually come with sniffles, I switched over to Claritin-D this spring, and it’s been much better. Thankfully, I only get allergies for a couple months in the spring and again in the fall. Because I’m not a sucker for marketing, I always buy the Walgreens generic version of any over the counter medications (e.g. Wal-itin, Wal-vil, Wal-iphed, Wal-atrim, Wal-stones vitamins). What I find interesting is that with the Methamphetamine craziness that’s taking over the country, Walgreens has taken to locking up all its branded products that contain pseudoephedrine. However, if you’re a meth junkie you can still buy the Wal-versions of pseudoephedrine containing drugs, because those are not locked up. Obviously, Walgreens has stumbled across a fantastic way to pump up sales of generics: tapping the meth junkie market! Genius, I tell you…
That is not the point of today’s post however. After helping boost Walgreen’s 3rd quarter profits, I got back into the car when I was suddenly struck blind. No, I’m not mistyping, I felt a slight pressure on my face and suddenly the world was all fuzzy – with no discernible details. I paused for a moment before realizing that my glasses were gone, having been knocked off my face by my car door as I got inside the car. After searching around the parking lot, I located them by feeling around my back seat. I was a little surprised by the fact that they ended up all the way back there, but I was also surprised by Renee Zellwegger's citing of "Fraud" as the reason for filing for an annulment - and I seemed to be dealing with *that* okay. So I moved on and headed out for work.
This episode got me thinking about a number of things about life I hadn’t considered before.
- I lead a life much more “on the edge” than I thought I did. For me to have my glasses knocked off by my car door as I am getting inside means that I’m unconsciously “buzzing the tower” every time I get in. Scary. What if sometime I get in too fast and slice the whole top off my head? It’s not like I have any hair to protect me anymore. Man, I need to slow down a little. I’m on a path to self-destruction and I don’t even know it.
- You know all those scenes in Scooby Doo where Velma loses her glasses and then crawls around saying “I lost my glasses” before stumbling across the foot of the monster (who she thinks is Scooby) and then she says “Boy Scoob, I’m sure glad to see you. Help me find my glasses.” and then the monster gets on all fours and looks around making the weird “EEEUUUURRGGHH” sound that all monsters do on Scooby Doo which Velma thinks is Scooby’s stomach growling causing her to say “Boy Scoob, you sure sound hungry, do you need a Scooby-Snack?” to which the monster makes the sound again before Velma throws one into its mouth at which point we discover that the monster really likes Scooby Snacks and starts wanting more which leads to hi-jinks with Velma refusing to give the monster anymore Scooby Snacks until they find her glasses while the monster grows more persistent and irritated and starts looking around frantically of course by then Velma has found her glasses, puts them on, then turns around and sees she’s actually been talking with the monster and not Scooby so she sneaks out of the room backwards, leaving us to laugh at the monster’s now-futile attempts to find the glasses along with the laugh track? Yeah…those scenes could really happen. Before they seemed implausible but after my experience they have an air of credibility.
- All the nerds we see on TV sitcoms who are wearing the elastic glasses strap on their heads to hold their glasses in place weren’t nerds – they were being very practical.
All told it was a very enlightening morning. Like an after-school special only at 7:00 am and not starring Tracey Gold, Meridith Baxter-Birney, or anyone else from "Family Ties".
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