I have recently discovered that I do, in fact have super powers. Twice in the last two days, I have been sitting at my desk doing what tools of the man do when for no reason at all I’ll start thinking about a person, who will then call me approximately one minute later. I’m completely serious. Yesterday it was the GF, and today it was my old college roommate (no, not the one with the blog, a different one) C.Lo calling to ask advice about whether he should take the settlement his insurer is offering after his car accident. Granted, the GF and I talk more or less daily, but I haven’t spoken to C.Lo almost all summer. This is particularly weird because I only recently was blogging about how I often daydream about superpowers. Suddenly – I possess them. Coincidence? I think not.
Rather, I think that Bill Gates has grown tired of world domination and has now decided to become a genie. Being fairly new to the business, he can’t really grant big things yet. Rather he grants little, practically useless wishes to those who blog about big wishes, to see if they will be grateful or bitter about it. If grateful, he lets the person keep the power in hopes that he will use it to buy more Microsoft products. If the recipient is a whiny little weasel, Bill has them roughed up by his gang of evil otter-thugs (in their cute little biker jackets, with the little chains and the teeny little metal spikes and the little tattoos that say “Live Slippery or Die!”. Awww…)
So Mr. Gates, wherever you are, I say thanks! I’ll take my psychic ability to see two minutes into the future with respect to the next person who will call me on the phone and try to use it to aid the forces of good. And I’ll buy the Windows Vista update when it comes out. Please…no otters…
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