Trick or teat!

Ah, Halloween. My third favorite holiday as a child. Not only because of the candy but because of it’s role in ringing in the season of “holidays where Grrrbear gets stuff!”. After Halloween came thanksgiving (food), xmas (presents), my birthday (presents), valentines day (faked tokens of affection from classmates and more candy), and easter (candy!). My mom was way into decorating for each one so I was always terribly excited when she broke out the pumpkins and mini-ears of corn. We have a picture of me (at age three) at the annual Grrrbear household pumpkin carving day – I’m trying to eat a piece of pumpkin and obviously having the best time ever.

When I was a kid though, it was recognized that Halloween was a kid’s holiday, and people who went out trick-or-treating after the age of 12 were considered wierdos. I went out with a bang, with my 5^th grade costume being a homemade Optimus Prime costume (designed by yours truly) that would allow me to actually transform into a somewhat semi-like shape that was remarkably recognizeable as a vehicle. These days however, Halloween is slowly being co-opted by adults of my age who refuse to let kids have all the fun. And it’s also starting to serve as a pseudo-mardi-gras for those of us who don’t live in New Orleans. Complete with boobage.

Seriously, when did a celebration of the spooky become about porno? I recently received a flyer promoting a “5^th Annual Pimp and Ho Halloween Party” at a local club. Looking at the pictures inside, it was easy to see why guys would want to go – all the women were hot and were wearing costumes constructed of dental floss and corks. The guys in the pictures however, were wearing full pimp suits and big floppy hats. They looked pretty silly, whereas the women looked hot, but a little skanky.

And then, as if the promise of pseudo-skanky ladies wasn’t enough by itself the party was going to be hosted by three pornstars (“Stormy”, “Shane”, and “Nina Hartley”) with big prize giveaways to include trips for 2 to the AVN awards in Las Vegas. In addition, there were going to be "100+" of the "sexiest adult dancers in Chicago" in attendance.

By this time, I was really confused. I am a guy; I have friends that are guys. It’s easy to see why we would all want to go to this. My question falls on my significantly female population of readers – why would you ladies want to go to this? Is it all about being allowed to dress like a ‘ho for one evening and not have your “street cred” (as a lawyer, investment banker, or nun) ruined forever? Or is it more evidence of the “enough alcohol will make us crazy” phenomenon so often practiced by the Girls Gone Wild crowd? Is a trip to the AVN awards something that would interest most women? Are you just looking for a place to bring your crappy boyfriend so you can "pass him off" to some stripper and go find someone better without going through his breakup whineyness?

Help a brother out ladies, I don’t get it…