"Who are you going to be for Halloween?" "I'm Pooperman!"

Who in their right mind would buy this costume to wear to a halloween party?



Seriously? Okay, if you're an adult let's assume there are three kinds of halloween parties that you can go to: kids parties, work parties, and parties out in public that typically involve a lot of alchohol where one is surrounded by women in skanky outfits looking to score.

Imagine you wear this to a kids party. You not only lose all respect of the kids (estimated time until first brat mimes pooping on you = approximately 10 minutes) but even the other adults there would look at you suspiciously. Sure you could claim you were trying to be all ironic and say "I'm the big scary toilet you kids were soooo scared of when you were potty training! I make scaaary flushing sounds that make you poop your pants! Booga-booga-booga!". But that might cause some of the kids who *did* have PTSD from toilet training to have an episode and then you're the evil monster who gets sent all the therapy bills.

Next, consider the work party. Surrounded by friends and colleagues, is this the message you want to send to your boss? "Hi sir, I know that you spend all day giving me sh*t, so for halloween I thought I'd make a witty comment on that aspect of our work relationship! Isn't that funny? Sir? Hello? Why are you walking away? Who are you guys? Those sure are convincing security guard uniforms, where'd you get them?".

Finally, the regular going out with friends public party. Yeah, *this* is the costume you want to put on to draw in the hotties. Nothing gets a women hotter than the thought of going home with indoor plumbing. Although, Ralph Macchio did get Elisabeth Shue to fall for him when he dressed up as a shower in Karate Kid, so maybe it could work. On second thought, showers evoke images of people naked and lathered up with nice-smelling bubbles. Toilets evoke images of absolutely nothing that anyone wants to see - ever. The thought of Elsabeth Shue lathered up in the shower = hot. The thought of her on the john = not so much.

Suffice to say that I will not be using this costume for halloween this year. Being a ginormous halloween geek, the GF had our costumes picked out and assembled about two weeks ago. I love never having to pick outfits anymore, it's the best thing about a relationship. Well, okay maybe not the best but definitely in the top seven.