To think, all of the jokes I cracked about my friends "being the milkman’s kids" over the years could actually be true! An recent scientific study has theorized that one in 25 children is not the product of their alleged father, but instead is the progeny of a different guy. They didn’t go into much detail about where the actual fathers were, but this is shocking. Think of how many of you know 25 guys with kids. If we are to believe these numbers then odds are at least one of them is raising someone else’s kids as their own. Think of how many kids you went to school with who don’t actually know their real dads. Think of how many people you work with who don’t know theirs.
In light of this new research, let's consider the bright side. It is now fairly likely that Tom Cruise is not actually the father of Katie Holmes' baby - even if they think it is! I don't know about you but this belief, as unlikely as it may be, provides me with just the right amount of necessary inner peace to proceed to ignore the whole thing entirely. Yup. I'm done. I've been just as aghast as the rest of America with respect to what has happened to America's latest sweetheart. But now that I know that the alleged child she is carrying is even remotely not hers I can finally sleep through the night. Hopefully, someone will pass this information along to Katie's dad, who is apparently none too pleased with an alien worshipper boinking his formerly Catholic little angel. Yes, Mr. Holmes, *none* of us think he's any good. But he's not the father of your grandchild...
probably...
most likely...
entirely possibly...
maybe.
Take your prozac and try to get some sleep Papa Holmes. Hopefully the Raelians will come and take him away before morning. Or he'll be distracted by something sparkly long enough for SWAT teams to move in and rescue her*. If worse comes to worst, just keep telling yourself that Tome Cruise is gay.
Comments
I figured it was not entirely on the level. But I still choose to believe that the alleged baby is actually Pacey Witter's. Otherwise I'll stop sleeping at night.
Although it would give creedence to women's oft-cited "that thing has a mind of it's own" observations.
It's a review article, so they say in the abstract that other studies have found rates from 0.8% to 30%. It totally depends on the population you're looking at, though - they say rates are higher among "those who conceive younger, live in deprivation, are in long term relationships (rather than marriages), or in certain cultural groups."
I'm kind of obsessed with study design. I figure it serves me well in my line of work.