Oh, this is a fantastic idea:
So, the best way that you can think of to entertain the drug-addled poverty-stricken homeless kids of the barrios is to put on a show of hot women in their skivvies?
Here’s what Reuters has to say about the whole thing:
I am in awe of the level of stupidity here. Sure, the kids look happy, but is this doing anything to help their situation? Why not just get them all hookers? Or buy them more glue?
This is what I love about Latin America though. Do you think that any non-profit in the states would get away with this? Probably not. But think if they could…
[Scene opens on a back alley in any “Big City, USA”. Sound of cats fighting. A child in his early teens is seen digging in a dumpster. Charlie Sheen enters]
SHEEN: Sure, you’ve seen them. Kids running in the streets with no place to go. You think you’ve done your part; you volunteer at homeless shelters, you donate your childrens’ old clothes to goodwill, you’re a big brother for an at risk teen, you tutor Reggie at the middle school three days a week. But have you addressed their greatest need?
[Street child looks up as a stripper enters]
SHEEN: What about those crazy hormones running wild through his system? Sure, you remember those days don’t you? You remember how hard they were. But you had USA Up All Night, you had Phoebe Cates in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”, you had “Revenge of the Nerds” and “Porkys”. You…were one of the fortunate ones. Kids on the streets today are not as lucky as we were. But now that can all change.
[Stripper takes off her trench coat and parades around in front of the kid]
SHEEN: Yes now for only $20 a day you too can sponsor a teen in trouble. Strippers Linked to Underpriviledged Teens on the Street (or SLUTS) – a new non-profit organization aims to help these kids realize their dreams. Just look at the joy in little Billy’s eyes…
[Cut to closeup of teen’s face. It’s alive with wonder and joy. Then a bra lands on his head.]
SHEEN: You too, can bring that joy to the youth who need it most. Just call 1-800-MY-SLUTS and we’ll pair you up with a teen who needs your help. Each month, you’ll receive a letter from your teen expressing how your gift has helped him become a happier person…
[Cut to piece of spiral-bound notebook paper upon which the words “THANK YOU!!!” are written over and over several hundred times. Followed by “Thanxs agin, Billy”]
SHEEN: So won’t you call today? There are thousands of kids who need your help.
[Street behind CHARLIE SHEEN fills with teens, as well as some Amish kids who obviously need the same help. All of them look at you pleadingly. A few drop to their knees and mouth the words “Please, please, oh man I’ll give anything.” One kid sees the stripper with Billy and faints]
SHEEN: So call today and help them live a better life, just like I did.
[SHEEN tousles Billy's hair. Billy is still staring with joy at the stripper. SHEEN smiles at the camera as a pair of panties land on his head]
So, the best way that you can think of to entertain the drug-addled poverty-stricken homeless kids of the barrios is to put on a show of hot women in their skivvies?
Here’s what Reuters has to say about the whole thing:
A model parades in front of street children, some of whom are sniffing glue, in the drug-infested 'Barrio Triste' (Sad Neighborhood) in downtown Medellin in Colombia November 7, 2005. The event was organised to entertain the children by a member of a local charity that helps children in Barrio Triste by providing food, clothes and cleaning facilities. REUTERS/Albeiro Lopera
I am in awe of the level of stupidity here. Sure, the kids look happy, but is this doing anything to help their situation? Why not just get them all hookers? Or buy them more glue?
This is what I love about Latin America though. Do you think that any non-profit in the states would get away with this? Probably not. But think if they could…
[Scene opens on a back alley in any “Big City, USA”. Sound of cats fighting. A child in his early teens is seen digging in a dumpster. Charlie Sheen enters]
SHEEN: Sure, you’ve seen them. Kids running in the streets with no place to go. You think you’ve done your part; you volunteer at homeless shelters, you donate your childrens’ old clothes to goodwill, you’re a big brother for an at risk teen, you tutor Reggie at the middle school three days a week. But have you addressed their greatest need?
[Street child looks up as a stripper enters]
SHEEN: What about those crazy hormones running wild through his system? Sure, you remember those days don’t you? You remember how hard they were. But you had USA Up All Night, you had Phoebe Cates in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”, you had “Revenge of the Nerds” and “Porkys”. You…were one of the fortunate ones. Kids on the streets today are not as lucky as we were. But now that can all change.
[Stripper takes off her trench coat and parades around in front of the kid]
SHEEN: Yes now for only $20 a day you too can sponsor a teen in trouble. Strippers Linked to Underpriviledged Teens on the Street (or SLUTS) – a new non-profit organization aims to help these kids realize their dreams. Just look at the joy in little Billy’s eyes…
[Cut to closeup of teen’s face. It’s alive with wonder and joy. Then a bra lands on his head.]
SHEEN: You too, can bring that joy to the youth who need it most. Just call 1-800-MY-SLUTS and we’ll pair you up with a teen who needs your help. Each month, you’ll receive a letter from your teen expressing how your gift has helped him become a happier person…
[Cut to piece of spiral-bound notebook paper upon which the words “THANK YOU!!!” are written over and over several hundred times. Followed by “Thanxs agin, Billy”]
SHEEN: So won’t you call today? There are thousands of kids who need your help.
[Street behind CHARLIE SHEEN fills with teens, as well as some Amish kids who obviously need the same help. All of them look at you pleadingly. A few drop to their knees and mouth the words “Please, please, oh man I’ll give anything.” One kid sees the stripper with Billy and faints]
SHEEN: So call today and help them live a better life, just like I did.
[SHEEN tousles Billy's hair. Billy is still staring with joy at the stripper. SHEEN smiles at the camera as a pair of panties land on his head]
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