Took some time off for a bit to re-charge. I'm back.
On the way into work this morning I was listening to NPR’s discussion of the Alito nomination. My jaw dropped to hear Republicans trying to spin this nomination as “promoting diversity” on the court because Alito is a first generation Italian. To me this highlights the entire problem with the Republican Party – they believe it is still 1916. Back then Italians could maybe be considered a minority, but by now we’ve realized that they are just another bunch of white guys – but with better tans. Besides, doesn’t Scalia already represent the token Italian minority? What’s next? When Stevens retires are they going to nominate an Irishman to appease that giant minority group?
On the way into work this morning I was listening to NPR’s discussion of the Alito nomination. My jaw dropped to hear Republicans trying to spin this nomination as “promoting diversity” on the court because Alito is a first generation Italian. To me this highlights the entire problem with the Republican Party – they believe it is still 1916. Back then Italians could maybe be considered a minority, but by now we’ve realized that they are just another bunch of white guys – but with better tans. Besides, doesn’t Scalia already represent the token Italian minority? What’s next? When Stevens retires are they going to nominate an Irishman to appease that giant minority group?
So let’s see…assuming that the right thinks 1916 is the place to be, let’s predict the rest of Shrubbie’s term:
2006 (1917 YRB*):
- A telegram from Iran to Canada is intercepted offering Canada Minnesota and most of New England in return for joining the Jihad against America.
- Said telegram prompts US to declare war on Iran and Canada. World War III begins but lasts only two years because we don’t have any troops left outside of Iraq and can’t recruit any rich kids.
- Bolsheviks revolt against Czar Putin in Russia
2007 (1918 YRB):
- Republican Congress passes the 28th Amendment re-banning the sale of “intoxicating liquors”.
- Avian Flu Pandemic sweeps through the world – White House blames “an inbalance of humors and unclean living" and recommends "cinnamon oil or powder with milk" and "salts of quinine"** for treatment
2008 (1919 YRB):
- Congress demands hearings into baseball when it is discovered that the White Sox threw the 2008 World Series. Everyone in America becomes a Cubs fan.
- Congress approves the 29th Amendment giving women the right to vote. Nobody feels like telling them that women have already had this right since the 1920’s.
- Passage of the 29th Amendment convinces America that the Republican party has Alzheimer’s and Congress is carted off to an assisted living facility created for it where they can pass pretend bills to deal with the rise of organized crime.
- Democrats are elected in droves and set about “cleaning up the mess”. World peace and an age of enlightenment and good times ensues – the 1920’s.
Whoopee! Where’s them flappers!? Everybody do the Charleston!
* “Year of Republican Belief”
**Both of which were advocated as treatments for the 1918 pandemic
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