Tired of the holiday bloat? Well get off your butt and get on your back!
(Thanks to Sam Burns for the pointer)
I'm a bit torn about this idea. But before I get into it let me just say that I'm all for people getting it on whenever possible. Everybody is in a good mood afterwards, and they generally are thinking more clearly. Maybe a nap is involved, too. All of which (if they were more widely-distributed) would solve all of humankind's problems. Crime? Gone - who wants to steal stuff when you can get some? Hatred? Non-existent - when was the last time you hated someone right after orgasm? Wars wouldn't happen because everybody would be otherwise occupied.
But solving weight gain through sex? I'm a little skeptical - for two reasons. Sure I'll go along with the "sex burns calories" philosophy but isn't there something of a chicken-and-egg dilemma here? I mean it's more difficult for fat people to get some on a regular basis, and the same thing holds true for really unattractive people (Joseph Merrick, for example). Sure, I bet it's easy for a woman as attractive* as the author of her book to get her husband to go at it more than once a week. I mean, how hard could it be?
This is the other reason I'm a little skeptical of the whole idea. It's entirely too easy for the guy to use this diet against the gal. If my wife did this the first thing I'd do is run out and buy bags full of candy, which I would proceed to hide all over the house where I knew she'd run into it.
Yet, despite all the benefits for all guy-kind to this book - there's still one flaw: you can't buy it for her. It would not send the kind of message you're hoping it will. Still, the author was on Oprah recently (according to the author's website - I don't watch Oprah) so it's only a matter of time before all women are buying copies for themselves. My advice to all you guys out there - stock up on Hostess and wait...
* Yeah - I doubt she was getting pushed out of bed even before she lost 23 pounds
(Thanks to Sam Burns for the pointer)
I'm a bit torn about this idea. But before I get into it let me just say that I'm all for people getting it on whenever possible. Everybody is in a good mood afterwards, and they generally are thinking more clearly. Maybe a nap is involved, too. All of which (if they were more widely-distributed) would solve all of humankind's problems. Crime? Gone - who wants to steal stuff when you can get some? Hatred? Non-existent - when was the last time you hated someone right after orgasm? Wars wouldn't happen because everybody would be otherwise occupied.
But solving weight gain through sex? I'm a little skeptical - for two reasons. Sure I'll go along with the "sex burns calories" philosophy but isn't there something of a chicken-and-egg dilemma here? I mean it's more difficult for fat people to get some on a regular basis, and the same thing holds true for really unattractive people (Joseph Merrick, for example). Sure, I bet it's easy for a woman as attractive* as the author of her book to get her husband to go at it more than once a week. I mean, how hard could it be?
Kerry: Honey, can I ask you something?
Husband: Sure babydoll. What's on your mind?
Kerry: I've been thinking about trying to lose some weight...
Husband (Desperately trying to suppress the male "fight-or-flight-oh-screw-it-just-fly- you-fool-FLY!" response that this topic invariably provokes in all men): Really? Well, okay...what brought this on?
Kerry: Well, I'm just thinking I should start taking care of myself a little better. And I've got an idea for a new diet that I think will really work!
Husband (seen this before): I see, you invented it yourself?
Kerry: Yeah! All by myself!
Husband (slightly amused): And how does it work, exactly?
Kerry: Well, every time I get a craving for food of some sort, I just come home and have sex with you! That way I'm distracted from eating and I get a good workout! What do you think?
Husband (rapid blinking): ...umm...
Kerry: Honey? What do you think?
Husband (trying desperately to remember when the next episode of "Unwrapped" is on Food Network): That sounds like an interesting idea baby... [makes a sneeze-like sound] ah...ahh...AHH...CHEESECAKE!!!!!
Kerry: Gesheundteit sweetie.
Husband: Thanks, bon-bon. [makes a cough-like sound] HO-HO! HO-HO!
Kerry: Um, honey?
Husband: Yes, punkin' pie?
Kerry: Knock it off.
This is the other reason I'm a little skeptical of the whole idea. It's entirely too easy for the guy to use this diet against the gal. If my wife did this the first thing I'd do is run out and buy bags full of candy, which I would proceed to hide all over the house where I knew she'd run into it.
Yet, despite all the benefits for all guy-kind to this book - there's still one flaw: you can't buy it for her. It would not send the kind of message you're hoping it will. Still, the author was on Oprah recently (according to the author's website - I don't watch Oprah) so it's only a matter of time before all women are buying copies for themselves. My advice to all you guys out there - stock up on Hostess and wait...
* Yeah - I doubt she was getting pushed out of bed even before she lost 23 pounds
Comments
It's all a conspiracy!