For all the press that the Minutemen have received in the last few months I, for one, find it telling that their efforts are doing nothing to stop the massive influx of cute furry illegal immigrant animals into this country. Sure, the humans coming over in droves are such a problem, what with their getting jobs and paying taxes. But what about cuddly latino animals? They just come over, run around in parks, harass American squirrels and eat our nuts. And they are resorting to increasingly desperate measures to cross the border.
I wonder why nobody is asking the tough questions like “Why are the squirrels so desperate to come over here in the first place?”. Maybe because they see other latino critters doing so well in the media: Speedy Gonzalez, the Taco Bell Chihuahua…and…um…well I can’t think of any others actually. Come to think of it, the Taco Bell Chihuahua just got axed. In fact chihuahuas in general seem to be getting fired left and right – Paris Hilton and Britney ditched Tinkerbell and Bit Bit, after all. So obviously Taco Bell has dropped theirs to be seen as “just as cool and skanky as those two gorditas”. I tell you this viral marketing fetish that these companies are on seems like it goes a bit overboard sometimes…
Anyway, as TOWWAS pointed out a while back, these squirrels carry plague. This is scary to most folks, including myself. But I take some comfort in the fact that America has withstood Mexican invasions before, and they typically turn out not to be as bad as advertised (e.g. killer bees, Santa Ana, burritos, tequila, Salma Hajek). Hopefully these new squirrels will quickly assimilate into their new homes and not cause friction among the native ground squirrel communities by moving in and taking all their jobs. But given what we’ve seen with people, I doubt it will be too long before ground squirrels from Kansas, Utah, and New England are totin’ little shotguns in little gunracks as they drive their ground-squirrel-sized pickup trucks back and forth across the New Mexican desert – right next to the other Minute Squirrels.
I wonder why nobody is asking the tough questions like “Why are the squirrels so desperate to come over here in the first place?”. Maybe because they see other latino critters doing so well in the media: Speedy Gonzalez, the Taco Bell Chihuahua…and…um…well I can’t think of any others actually. Come to think of it, the Taco Bell Chihuahua just got axed. In fact chihuahuas in general seem to be getting fired left and right – Paris Hilton and Britney ditched Tinkerbell and Bit Bit, after all. So obviously Taco Bell has dropped theirs to be seen as “just as cool and skanky as those two gorditas”. I tell you this viral marketing fetish that these companies are on seems like it goes a bit overboard sometimes…
Anyway, as TOWWAS pointed out a while back, these squirrels carry plague. This is scary to most folks, including myself. But I take some comfort in the fact that America has withstood Mexican invasions before, and they typically turn out not to be as bad as advertised (e.g. killer bees, Santa Ana, burritos, tequila, Salma Hajek). Hopefully these new squirrels will quickly assimilate into their new homes and not cause friction among the native ground squirrel communities by moving in and taking all their jobs. But given what we’ve seen with people, I doubt it will be too long before ground squirrels from Kansas, Utah, and New England are totin’ little shotguns in little gunracks as they drive their ground-squirrel-sized pickup trucks back and forth across the New Mexican desert – right next to the other Minute Squirrels.
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