Having returned from a day spent at the Mall of America I can conclusively say that in addition to being a slut I am officially a crotchety old man. Not to go all Seinfeldian or anything but what is the deal with 15 year old girls these days? I was deeply disturbed by all the junior-high exhibitionism I witnessed on my trip today. Now granted, I don't hang out with 15 year olds nearly as much as I did when I was 15, but it appears that the rules of what one can wear have entirely changed from 1990.
Back then, what the girls wore was not structurally different from what the guys wore - sure, it was somewhat more pink and NKOTB-oriented than typical guy-wear of the time. But in general it was the same "T-shirt and jeans" philosophy. Not anymore. These days apparently one isn't socially acceptable as a junior high school girl unless you've successfully seduced a married father of two a la "Lolita". When did this happen? I was deeply disturbed by the time I suddenly noticed a tight pair of jeans out of the corner of my eye, only to discover that the girl occupying them could have no memory of Ross Perot's presidential bid.
The dress of 15 year old boys isn't much better, but they are still following the "I'm tryin to look stupid"-chic mantra that junior-high boys have followed since prehistoric times ("Dammit junior, don't you have anything to wear *but* that same, infernal black bear pelt!? I don't care if it says 'Vote for Eegah' go back upstairs and put on something else so you mother can beat it with a stick in the river with the rest of the laundry!"). At least nobody mistakes junior high boys for strippers.
This is exactly why I worry about ever having a daughter. By the time she's 15 they'll either be naked constantly or will have regressed to puritan fashion as a firm of rebellion. Here's hoping "Pilgrim-chic" becomes very popular with the kiddies ASAP.
Back then, what the girls wore was not structurally different from what the guys wore - sure, it was somewhat more pink and NKOTB-oriented than typical guy-wear of the time. But in general it was the same "T-shirt and jeans" philosophy. Not anymore. These days apparently one isn't socially acceptable as a junior high school girl unless you've successfully seduced a married father of two a la "Lolita". When did this happen? I was deeply disturbed by the time I suddenly noticed a tight pair of jeans out of the corner of my eye, only to discover that the girl occupying them could have no memory of Ross Perot's presidential bid.
The dress of 15 year old boys isn't much better, but they are still following the "I'm tryin to look stupid"-chic mantra that junior-high boys have followed since prehistoric times ("Dammit junior, don't you have anything to wear *but* that same, infernal black bear pelt!? I don't care if it says 'Vote for Eegah' go back upstairs and put on something else so you mother can beat it with a stick in the river with the rest of the laundry!"). At least nobody mistakes junior high boys for strippers.
This is exactly why I worry about ever having a daughter. By the time she's 15 they'll either be naked constantly or will have regressed to puritan fashion as a firm of rebellion. Here's hoping "Pilgrim-chic" becomes very popular with the kiddies ASAP.
Comments
As if being a teenager isn't bad enough... the pressure to be sexy would SUCK!
And yes, I cry for the "normal built girls" who end up looking deformed by the scary low cut jeans. Sorry, unless you're built like Kate Moss... you gonna get that weird fat bubble thing over that waist.
Yuck!