This past weekend I decided to take the GF out for a nice dinner somewhere we hadn't been before. It had been a while since we had gone out someplace where the waiters ties weren't clip-on, and I figured it might be fun to live a little. The GF found a place downtown called Japonais which is a trendy Japanese restaurant (obviously) just off the river. At first I have to admit that I was a little apprehensive about doing Japanese food. Given my limited pallet, I was nervous that it would turn out to be just a sushi place, but knowing me as well as she does the GF picked a place where they had actual food as well as sushi (which is Japanese for "artfully arranged, molded fish corpses").
Being a guy, I had hopes of maximising the use of my time downtown by buying some new shoes for work. This was in recognition of the fact that I had not purchased shoes specifically for work in about six years. I wasn't entirely sure whether or not the GF knew this at the time but one thing was certain: we were gradually replacing every item of crap in my old wardrobe. Ergo, as more of the blindingly hideous clothing items disappeared, the awful condition of my work shoes would only become more obvious. Given this, I proposed the idea of shoe shopping as a fun way to use up some gift cards given to me by my brother for Christmas as well as bonding over shopping (which I know she loves). Since we took the el down there, she was not convinced we would have enough time to find anything before the store closed, but as it is, we managed to walk out with two new pairs of shoes in only a half-hour. I'm very excited about them and plan on wearing them 24 hours a day fo the next week. Except in the shower, whoch would defeat the whole purpose of showering - even if it did provide better traction on the slippery floor.
When we finally arrived at the restaurant (after following the GF's suggestion of taking the bus for all of two blocks*) we were seated immediately and proceeded to enjoy one of the best meals I have ever had. Yes, they had sushi** but they also had Kobe Beef. For those of you who dno't know what Kobe Beef is, it's essentially meat from the wussiest cattle on the planet - the Homer Simpsons of the cow world, who sit around all day drinking beer and getting massages and putting the lard in lardass. And to be called Kobe Beef it has to come from Kobe in Japan (even if the cattle themselves are typically raised in the states or in Australia. Actual Japanese Kobe Beef steaks can cost about $300 each, so given that I didn't mind that mine was a Yankee cow***.
Needless to say the dinner itself was phenomenal. I have leftovers currently sitting in the GF's fridge because I forgot them at her house. But I don't worry that she'll eat it because she's a vegetarian****. but the best part of the dinner was David, our waiter, who was witty, fun, frinedly and didn't spit in my food (as far as I can tell). He and I went back and forth quoting lines from various Mel Brooks movies and laughing while the GF looked at me with her "that's my nerdboy" face. When we got the check, she had the great idea to say thank you with a witty Mel Brooks quote, which I was (of course) all over. I raced to come up with something good and was sooo proud of myself when I finally thought of it. David would undoubtedly think I was a pop culture genius and wonder to himself why I wasn't one of the talking heads on VH1 endless supply of tchotchcumentaries. Despite the GF's inquiries, I held off telling her until we left the dining area, telling her "I'll tell you later" with a mischievious grin. I was sure she'd find it so hysterical that she'd laugh herself into tears - thrilled yet again with her choice of boyfriend.
Finally, when we had gone downstairs to check out the lounge, I fessed up:
Regardless, I insisted that we leave immediately before we saw David again. The GF will accept my dorkiness, but David seemed a little more sophisticated. I don't know that I'll ever be able to return, except in disguise.
*To be fair, she didn't know how far of a walk it was to the restaurant and I was not all that sure about it myself)
** Which the GF loved and I didn't try
*** Still, he was a little pricey. But that's not surprising since he was shipped over to Kobe to be processed and then flown back to be dinner.
****I never thought that would come in handy until now...
Being a guy, I had hopes of maximising the use of my time downtown by buying some new shoes for work. This was in recognition of the fact that I had not purchased shoes specifically for work in about six years. I wasn't entirely sure whether or not the GF knew this at the time but one thing was certain: we were gradually replacing every item of crap in my old wardrobe. Ergo, as more of the blindingly hideous clothing items disappeared, the awful condition of my work shoes would only become more obvious. Given this, I proposed the idea of shoe shopping as a fun way to use up some gift cards given to me by my brother for Christmas as well as bonding over shopping (which I know she loves). Since we took the el down there, she was not convinced we would have enough time to find anything before the store closed, but as it is, we managed to walk out with two new pairs of shoes in only a half-hour. I'm very excited about them and plan on wearing them 24 hours a day fo the next week. Except in the shower, whoch would defeat the whole purpose of showering - even if it did provide better traction on the slippery floor.
When we finally arrived at the restaurant (after following the GF's suggestion of taking the bus for all of two blocks*) we were seated immediately and proceeded to enjoy one of the best meals I have ever had. Yes, they had sushi** but they also had Kobe Beef. For those of you who dno't know what Kobe Beef is, it's essentially meat from the wussiest cattle on the planet - the Homer Simpsons of the cow world, who sit around all day drinking beer and getting massages and putting the lard in lardass. And to be called Kobe Beef it has to come from Kobe in Japan (even if the cattle themselves are typically raised in the states or in Australia. Actual Japanese Kobe Beef steaks can cost about $300 each, so given that I didn't mind that mine was a Yankee cow***.
Needless to say the dinner itself was phenomenal. I have leftovers currently sitting in the GF's fridge because I forgot them at her house. But I don't worry that she'll eat it because she's a vegetarian****. but the best part of the dinner was David, our waiter, who was witty, fun, frinedly and didn't spit in my food (as far as I can tell). He and I went back and forth quoting lines from various Mel Brooks movies and laughing while the GF looked at me with her "that's my nerdboy" face. When we got the check, she had the great idea to say thank you with a witty Mel Brooks quote, which I was (of course) all over. I raced to come up with something good and was sooo proud of myself when I finally thought of it. David would undoubtedly think I was a pop culture genius and wonder to himself why I wasn't one of the talking heads on VH1 endless supply of tchotchcumentaries. Despite the GF's inquiries, I held off telling her until we left the dining area, telling her "I'll tell you later" with a mischievious grin. I was sure she'd find it so hysterical that she'd laugh herself into tears - thrilled yet again with her choice of boyfriend.
Finally, when we had gone downstairs to check out the lounge, I fessed up:
Me: "So do you want to know what the line was?"At that point I suddenly noticed my horrific mistake - mixing up Spanish Inquisition scenes. Then, I realized that the GF was right and I was wrong - about pop culture nonetheless, a topic where I consider myself something of a savant. I was so embarrassed. There was no way I could argue my way out of this one so I fell on the sword of embarrassment and hoped that the GF would think it was cute. Thankfully, she did.
GF: "Yeah, tell me!"
Me: "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
GF: "...That's not a Mel Brooks line."
Me: "Yes it is! It's Hystory of the World, part I!"
GF: "No, honey - It's Monty Python."
Regardless, I insisted that we leave immediately before we saw David again. The GF will accept my dorkiness, but David seemed a little more sophisticated. I don't know that I'll ever be able to return, except in disguise.
*To be fair, she didn't know how far of a walk it was to the restaurant and I was not all that sure about it myself)
** Which the GF loved and I didn't try
*** Still, he was a little pricey. But that's not surprising since he was shipped over to Kobe to be processed and then flown back to be dinner.
****I never thought that would come in handy until now...
Comments
Despite the slip-up, I'd still take you over Hal Sparks or that annoyingly unfunny dude who was on Ed. As a pop culture savant, I expect you to know of whom I speak.
At least I think he was on Ed.
Yeah, I watch a lot of tchotchcumentaries. And I'm proud of it, okay?!?!