Damn, those darn Al-qaedas are recruiting animals! The Bellingham, WA airport was shut down last week because a skunk had planted himself in the middle of the runway. Notice that the article doesn't mention the 20 pounds of C-4 disguised as "rat poison" inside the cage. Sure, the article claims that the skunk was taken for "treatment" but if that was true, why then was he flown from Seattle to Poland, Egypt, Afghanistan, and finally Mongolia* before settling into the "rehabilitation center" for regular doses of "vitamin k".
Yeah right. Why didn't your war on terrorism include woodland creatures, Mr. President? What, just because they don't have phones you can monitor you think they are all on our side? Looks like someone's been watching too many Disney movies. Maybe he thought the mice from Cinderella were hard at work making body armor so he wouldn't have to actually ship any over there.
Speaking of Mongolia...(Wow, I never thought I'd ever use this phrase in a sentence. I guess my 8th grade geography teacher Mr. Krump was right - geography is good for something!***) I noticed that Yahoo did it again with the captions on it's photos. Bakc during the Katrina disaster, you probably heard all the hullabaloo about how they had captioned photos of white people as "finding food" whereas the black folks were "looting". yeah, I thought you'd remember that...
Well it appears as though they still haven't learned their lesson. Check out the following art I snagged off their images collection:
"Mongorian"? Hmmm...is Kim Jong Il writing captions for the AP these days? Well, I do know one thing - he's undoubtedly the one behind the attempted bombing in "Bewwingham"!
Goddamnit, how many times do I have to tehr you? You don't use the WMDs untihr you see the signahr! I have worked ten years on this pran! It is a very precise, and a compricated pran! I am sick of you terrorists fucking it up! Now take the weapons where I tord you and wait for the *goddamn* signahr this time!****
I can see all the little woodland creatures cowering before him even now...
* Wooo! Coalition of the Willing Tour 2005! Wooo!!!
**Notice how I didn't even throw in any cracks about the birds being willing to work for chicken feed either. I know - such restraint...
***Of course, Mr Krump also raised wild pheasants in a big enclosure next to his house, thinking they would become the next big gourmet delicacy. So perhaps he wasn't the next Nostradamus after all. That he never proclaimed me a "genius", "child prodegy" or "geography god-child" (despite my awe-inspiring report on the nation of Cyprus) probably confirms this.
****God this is a great movie. If you don't recognize the line then you are obviously not an American. You...*are* an American...AREN'T YOU!?!?
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