I arrived home late last night, after a night carousing and living the high life. Namely - board responsibilities and then picking up stuff for the GF's big super cool audition. Obviously, since I live so hard and fast, I thought I'd spend a few minutes unwinding by blogging my post for tomorrow (or today, since you're reading this but I didn't post it until tomorrow morning - I'm writing tomorrow's entry tonight so that you can read it today which is actually tomorrow for me right now...confused yet? Kewl...).
So I checked out the traffic meter and found a somewhat alarming visitor:
[Click to see full size]
Yes my friends, I have apparently become a haven for terrorists searching for information on how to corrupt the food supply in Wisconsin. Who knows why they seek to take down Jewel food stores? I am not familiar with the workings of such deviant minds - but I'll guess it's because they are importing dairy products from California. Perhaps since Google is fighting the government's request for search histories, terrorists are now actively using Google to find information needed to accomplish their nefarious plans! I mean, who would know how to exploit the complex security systems present in your local Jewel if not Google? These guys are good...
Being a concerned and patriotic citizen, I immediately sought out more information on what other sorts of websites came up as a result of that search. I wanted to know what sort of evil sites mine was being lumped in with - all the better to gauge how much trouble I might be in if word of this ever leaks out. Here is a sampling:
Princess Di Memorial Site: Obviously, the terrorists got to her first. Dammit! If only I'd been blogging in '97 I might have prevented that too!
Scary-Looking Chick Blogger Site: We all know what "sisters" means...they're witches!!! Let's build bridges out of them before they teach the terrorists about breast cancer, body image issues, and occasional dirty jokes.
Boring Paper on Genes or Science or Something: I'm not really sure what this is about, but it's really long and I couldn't get into it - that's why I'm friends with TOWWAS, she tells me when I need to be worried about stuff like this. Still, its sheer size is probably being used to hide secret messages for transmission to terrorists! Oooo, scary!
Tobey Maguire Biography Page: So *that's* what he's been doing since Spiderman 2...he's become a terrorist bent on disrupting America's food distribution networks! Somebody call JJ Jameson!*
Suddenly, I feel a lot better about the odds of my door being kicked in by Homeland Security agents while I'm sleeping tonight...
* No, _JJ_...not Jenna...Although maybe she could help capture him. Assuming the terrorists haven't gotten to her yet - which they may have. There's a lot of search results I didn't get to and sooner or later every Google search leads to porn.
So I checked out the traffic meter and found a somewhat alarming visitor:
[Click to see full size]
Yes my friends, I have apparently become a haven for terrorists searching for information on how to corrupt the food supply in Wisconsin. Who knows why they seek to take down Jewel food stores? I am not familiar with the workings of such deviant minds - but I'll guess it's because they are importing dairy products from California. Perhaps since Google is fighting the government's request for search histories, terrorists are now actively using Google to find information needed to accomplish their nefarious plans! I mean, who would know how to exploit the complex security systems present in your local Jewel if not Google? These guys are good...
Being a concerned and patriotic citizen, I immediately sought out more information on what other sorts of websites came up as a result of that search. I wanted to know what sort of evil sites mine was being lumped in with - all the better to gauge how much trouble I might be in if word of this ever leaks out. Here is a sampling:
Princess Di Memorial Site: Obviously, the terrorists got to her first. Dammit! If only I'd been blogging in '97 I might have prevented that too!
Scary-Looking Chick Blogger Site: We all know what "sisters" means...they're witches!!! Let's build bridges out of them before they teach the terrorists about breast cancer, body image issues, and occasional dirty jokes.
Boring Paper on Genes or Science or Something: I'm not really sure what this is about, but it's really long and I couldn't get into it - that's why I'm friends with TOWWAS, she tells me when I need to be worried about stuff like this. Still, its sheer size is probably being used to hide secret messages for transmission to terrorists! Oooo, scary!
Tobey Maguire Biography Page: So *that's* what he's been doing since Spiderman 2...he's become a terrorist bent on disrupting America's food distribution networks! Somebody call JJ Jameson!*
Suddenly, I feel a lot better about the odds of my door being kicked in by Homeland Security agents while I'm sleeping tonight...
* No, _JJ_...not Jenna...Although maybe she could help capture him. Assuming the terrorists haven't gotten to her yet - which they may have. There's a lot of search results I didn't get to and sooner or later every Google search leads to porn.
Comments
That paper is actually really interesting - it's about the ethical issues involved with patenting plants and animals. Kind of a big deal now that scientists know how to make genetically modified animals and cloned animals and stuff. Ooh, and it talks about the controversy over recombinant DNA technology when it first appeared - I've heard about that, and I've been wanting to read about it.
Just be careful reading that article though. Remember, terrorists are searching for it too...
And on a side note, does that paper contain any information on the vulnerabilities of Jewel Food Stores in Wisconsin?
*That paper on recombinant DNA practices is a little outdated. All peer-reviewed literature is going to be outdated on Google because of copyright issues.
I'm going to patent my latest botanical cross. I crossed a sugar cane plant with a canadian thistle. I'm going to call it :
keepyohands offmysugarbitchifolius
Not trying to single out the Canadians or anything but it is a rather noxious variety that would more easily take hold. And those damn Canadians are everywhere so it fits.
jj, check me out. I finally made one of these silly things...what are they called again?? Brogs?
But then I thought that this might ACTUALLY put you (or me) on an NSA list.
And now I'm scared for our country.