Neilsen might have to think up a new way to track viewership though

As part of my plan for pre-blood donation I up my fluid intake the day before to levels much higher than normal. Granted, I probably don’t drink as much water as I should*, but I haven’t died of dehydration yet so I must be doing something right. Apparently my body is so used to my normal intake that it views today’s sudden bounty with a certain amount of skepticism – passing anything above the norm through my entire digestive tract in about 10 minutes. I think my kidneys are appreciating the workout right now.

In any case, I’ve seemingly been transformed from a normal 31 year old guy into a 62 year old with prostate issues. As a result, I’ve been hitting the bathroom regularly today – much more so than on a regular Friday. It’s amazing how something as simple as going to the bathroom puts my brain into a state of autopilot, I get up, walk over, do my business and go back to my desk without any conscious thought about it whatsoever. It’s a lot like the commute into work in that in both cases I find myself thinking about other things while I’m doing it and not paying much thought to navigation.

Today though on one of my trips I noticed that the janitors had replaced the urinal screens with new ones. More specifically, I noticed that the new urinal screens featured their brand name quite prominently, along with a website. It was weird enough that the brand name was “Renown”**. But weirder was the idea I got in my head about starting a company to mass-produce custom urinal screens with advertising or public service ads. Think of how effective they would be in bars:

• Miller Lite: “Now go back and get some more!”
• Trojan: “Quick! Before anything else comes out!”
• Enzyte: “Wish you knew how cold this water was?”

Yep, I think this is definitely the “next big thing”. I mean, if the CTA wraps turnstyles with advertising, how long will it take for this to catch on? Gotta go get me a business plan…

* Lord knows I can’t keep up with the “eleventy billion glasses per day” rule that almost all women I know seem to adhere to.
** I mean seriously, “Renown”? For a urinal screen? Since when has a urinal screen been something that could even remotely be associated with that word? “AmSan’s urinal screens were renowned throughout the land for skill at keeping old gum out of the plumbing”…yeah, I don’t think so.