All right Hasbro, now you’ve got my dander up! I can understand the need to re-do the Monopoly game once every six months in order to keep it relevant for the “ADD Generation” of geography-challenged kids these days. And I certainly understand their desire to ramp up people’s interest in the game by letting people vote on which streets should be in the new edition. But not only does their new contest letting you vote for geographic landmarks in cities across the country completely fail – but it just makes me angry.
First off, almost all of the options you have to choose from aren’t even streets! Instead, they are landmarks like Wrigley Field, the St. Louis Arch, and Times Square. This flies in the face of conventional Monopoly wisdom and logic! How in the heck am I supposed to believe it’s possible for me to build hotels on the Mall of America or Diamond Head? Is there some new rules in the game about navigating through bureaucratic red tape to try and gain a zoning exception so you can build your hotels? I mean, if zoning doesn’t let you build hotels in the Johnson Space Center what’s the point of owning it?
Second, and even more heinous in my book is they have the wrong picture for the Stone Arch Bridge in Minneapolis – showing the 10th Avenue Bridge which is not, in fact, even made of stone. [Sigh] I guess this is what happens when out-of-staters pick significant local landmarks.
Finally, I just realized that the Minneapolis landmarks are one of the poorest-performing properties in terms of vote count – beating only Cleveland, Dallas, and Nashville. This is important because the order in which properties are placed on the board will be assigned by the overall number of votes each city receives. So right now Minneapolis is pretty much destined to become the new Vermont Avenue – a low-rent district of slumlords and petty criminals. Sure, it’s better than being the new “Dark Blue Poorhouse” of Baltic/Mediterranean Avenues but we should be able to at least work ourselves up into the unpretentious middle-class domesticity of the Free Parking corner, right? So tell your friends to get off their asses and help restore Minneapolis to it’s rightful place.
Even if two of the three landmarks you get to vote for aren’t even in that city.
First off, almost all of the options you have to choose from aren’t even streets! Instead, they are landmarks like Wrigley Field, the St. Louis Arch, and Times Square. This flies in the face of conventional Monopoly wisdom and logic! How in the heck am I supposed to believe it’s possible for me to build hotels on the Mall of America or Diamond Head? Is there some new rules in the game about navigating through bureaucratic red tape to try and gain a zoning exception so you can build your hotels? I mean, if zoning doesn’t let you build hotels in the Johnson Space Center what’s the point of owning it?
Second, and even more heinous in my book is they have the wrong picture for the Stone Arch Bridge in Minneapolis – showing the 10th Avenue Bridge which is not, in fact, even made of stone. [Sigh] I guess this is what happens when out-of-staters pick significant local landmarks.
Finally, I just realized that the Minneapolis landmarks are one of the poorest-performing properties in terms of vote count – beating only Cleveland, Dallas, and Nashville. This is important because the order in which properties are placed on the board will be assigned by the overall number of votes each city receives. So right now Minneapolis is pretty much destined to become the new Vermont Avenue – a low-rent district of slumlords and petty criminals. Sure, it’s better than being the new “Dark Blue Poorhouse” of Baltic/Mediterranean Avenues but we should be able to at least work ourselves up into the unpretentious middle-class domesticity of the Free Parking corner, right? So tell your friends to get off their asses and help restore Minneapolis to it’s rightful place.
Even if two of the three landmarks you get to vote for aren’t even in that city.
Comments
http://shivdog.blogspot.com/
Monopoly: Deluxe Inclusionary Zoning Version would be fantastic! If Monopoly has any faults, it's that games are just too short. I'd like to pick cards from the "Schedule a Committee Hearing" pile that have directions like, "LB-152 referred back to Legislative Affairs subcommittee for revision of Paragraph 28(c), pertaining to the whole of the intent. You must skip eighteen turns until the Democrats have a majority and can appoint a new chair."
Of course, the other two places *still* arent even in Minneapolis...