Like everyone else, all I’m hearing about these days is the “future of media” - how television is dead and will soon be so antiquated that the only people watching it will be the Amish. The rest of us will be downloading podcasts and viewing little mini-episodes on the cell phones built into our skulls that project images directly onto our retinas. Instead of commercials, the products themselves will be the stars of the future. We'll all talk about whether Tide is a natural 200 oz bottle or whether she's had work done and how she looked so much better as a 96 oz-er. Paparrazzi will hound Gino's Pizza Rolls constantly, trying to get that perfect shot that proves he's sleeping with Allstate Car Insurance Policy after leaving bottle of Pepsi at the altar. No doubt this will hasten the decline of America because instead of working we’ll all be watching reruns of Scrubs instead of filling out our TPS reports.
I’ve never been a big fan of the online video, because most of it has been pretty amateurish. But today I stumbled upon something that I’ve actually sort of gotten into. It’s a little serial about this guy named Brandon and the three different women he’s currently dating with all their quirks. Obviously, hyjinks ensue. Anyway, check it out if you want a little something fun over lunch on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
I think one of the reasons I enjoy it so much is that before the GF and I got together, my life was a lot like Brandon’s. Like Brandon, I was in a relationship with three different partners at once. Only, instead of actual “women” mine were with rooms in my condo. First was the bedroom, who was always trying to persuade me to come over “just to hang out” but ended up always trying to get me into bed. After that I’d usually pass out for about 7-8 hours until the next morning, when I’d wake up all tired, disoriented, and feeling dirty and in need of a shower and shave.
Or there was the living room/dining room/kitchen. We mostly ended up making dinner most nights and watching tv with occasional bouts of reading and napping on the couch. Normally, it would have been the perfect relationship, except that room had kind of an identity crisis; “Am I a kitchen or a dining room? Maybe I’m a living room since that’s the biggest part of me…wait, is that a deck outside the patio door!? Oh crap now I’m really confused!!”
Then there was the office – a brightly colored, if small room but always coming up with new adventures. “Hey, let’s play video games!” it would say “Hey, let’s see what new videos of people falling down whilst skateboarding are on the internet!”. Or, the worst idea ever – “Why don’t you start blogging about completely irrelevant things that nobody will care about and I’ll go out and publish these stories to everyone on Earth who does a search for ‘Debra Lafave yummy’ or ‘usnbt.com’! Won’t that be fun?”*.
Needless to say, I can’t wait to see what happens to Brandon. Maybe it will help me decide which room relationship has the most long-term potential.
* Well, technically not everyone on earth yet, but I had my 11,000th visitor yesterday. Never thought it would happen, frankly.