Thursday, May 04, 2006

Quickie - Yay! Han shoots first again!

Words cannot describe how excited I am to hear that George Lucas has *finally* allowed the original editions of all three Star Wars movies to be released on DVD.

This will finally correct all those fake versions of the movies where Greedo shot first and stupid Hayden Christensen appears as a "Jedi Ghost" during the Yub-Yub song.

I am a Hayden Christensen athiest - I don't believe that movies containing him are real and therefore refuse to watch them. Don't get me wrong, I tried both Episode I and II, but a) he was sooo awful and b) George Lucas can't direct his way out of a paper bag. It's too painful to even consider watching the third - despite all the reports that it sucks the least of the three.

Now I know *exactly* what I want for christmas...

7 comments:

Spice said...

I have no love for the most recent Star Wars films (heck, I haven't even seen the second), but feel obligated to point out that Hayden Christensen was very good in "Shattered Glass," which is an excellent movie that also features Peter Sarsgaard, my current indicator of fine, often-off-the-radar filmmaking. I think HC can act, GL just can't direct or write. Or at least hasn't been able to do so since the early 1980s.

KC said...

I have to agree with Spice's comment... Christensen really isn't as bad as the Star Wars movies would lead you to believe. I saw him in "My Life as a House" and thought he was pretty damn good.

I will be in line to purchase the Star Wars DVD's. You bet!

towwas said...

Oh, yay, that is good news!

It's true, the most recent one sucks the least. Don't get me wrong, it still sucks, but it sucks way less than the other two.

Anonymous said...

Hayden Christensen was not in Episode One. He was however in Episodes two and three and I felt he did the best he could at fullfilling Lucas's vision. Just for fun, try reciting those lines yourself and you'll have a newfound appreciation for Hayden Christensen.

grrrbear said...

All right, all right, let me clarify. You're all right, I don't "hate" Hayden Christensen as an actor as I too have seen him not suck that bad in other stuff (I saw "Life as a House" in the theater for some reason - I was bored and my friend wanted to see it).

But anonymous hit it on the head - it's not that his acting sucked, it is that George Lucas really struggles to write the flowery, more formal language used in the Old Republic (as personified by Ben Kenobi in Episodes I, II, and III) without it starting to sound stilted and annoying.

Even worse is how Lucas' ability to direct actors on how to express emotion while spouting such unnatural drivel fails on sooo many levels. I truly felt that it is not possibile for *any* actor to do so successfully - much less Hayden Christensen. I mean look at what happened to Natalie Portman in those movies compared to stuff like Closer, The Professional, Beautiful Girls, etc.

So I apologise to all you HC fans out there and will rephrase my statement to "I don't hate HC in those movies - I hate what he represents."

There, better?

grrrbear said...

Oh, but I *did* hate the kid who played Anakin in Episode I though.

But now I'm wondering if that wasn't George's fault too...or just Natalie continuously referring to him as "Annie".

Grafs said...

Oh man you made my day! Lucas has needed a "back to the basics" for a while.

After all, Elmo seems equally disinterested in both...

I have a hard time believing that Elmo was traumatized by Katy Perry's decollatage after discovering that he had already "been arou...