Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Swingin' in the Suburbs

A friend of mine who I used to work with in Cleveland is in the Chicago office this week for a conference, so I went out with her and a few friends to grab dinner after work yesterday. Typically, in cases like these we will take an out-of-towner to a decent restaurant downtown because the visitor usually stays at a downtown hotel. But this week there is some large plastics expo/trade show, so all the downtown hotels are full.

Yes, all of Chicago's downtown hotels have no rooms available (at least not at a reasonable* rate). This actually happens more often than you would think. While Chicago is a big city we don't have a lot of hotel space in the downtown area, so the next time you're thinking of taking a trip here (and don't stay at my place) make sure to check the trade show schedule at McCormick Place. That might determine whether you can actually find a room.

Anyway, because T.Ro was staying out in the 'burbs, we had to find a restaurant out in the 'burbs. So one friend suggested a place out in Oakbrook Terrace called Redstone Grill. From the outside, it looked like any other chain restaurant in the 'burbs - with the exception of having the largest parking lot I had ever seen. It was easily 5-6 times larger than the actual restaurant itself, and populated largely with expensive sports cars with personalized license plates proclaiming "I U DOIN" and "DLCVITA". Obviously, a classy joint.

Once I met up with folks inside, one of them** told me that this place was the place in the area for swinging singles over 40 on the weekends. From the look of things inside, it was only slightly less so inside. Acres of slightly overweight, gold chain wearing, polo shirt and sports coat-clad bronzer aficionados lurked up by the bar, or tried to make conversation with the hostess - an attractive young woman in her early 20's who obviously believed that her DD's could defy gravity sans foundation garment. Who knows, maybe the "Look, my tits are level with my bellybutton" look draws the older guys.

The rest of the dinner was pretty uneventful, I have to admit. Although the waitress tried to peer pressure me into drinking more booze and needled me a bit when I only ate half my hamburger. But I wasn't disturbed, I had to drive 45 mintues to get home and the hamburger itself was a half-pound of beef. I wasn't about to let an aggressive waitress drive me to obesity and a DUI.

* Reasonable being less than $500 a night, probably
** Who had friends in the suburbs and had been there previously

6 comments:

KC said...

You didn't have a camera with you??? Too bad. Bronzed old guys wearing jewelry ogling the big boobed waitress would have been a great illustration to this blog post. But then, you can probably find a picture of that out on the web anywhere.

ha

grrrbear said...

Sorry KC all I had was my camera phone, and coudn't get the shot lined up without loking obvious. I did just add one of their license plates though...

KC said...

Deciphering vanity license plates is not always as easy as it should be. At first glance, I thought this person was trying to convey the message that she had an IUD IN. But after a moment or two, I realized that the person is trying to say "how you doin'?" in some kind of crazy Pidgin English.

grrrbear said...

OMG KC that would be the best vanity plate *ever*...

Although one would wonder why a woman would choose that particular message. Other than to perhaps proclaim "Go ahead and sleep with me! I won't get knocked up and make you pay child support! Woo-hoo!"

J.Po said...

Your Cleveland pal must have felt right at home!

Sophist said...

If her mammaries were so low in her 20's, imagine her in her late 50's with an awesome fake-bake.

After all, Elmo seems equally disinterested in both...

I have a hard time believing that Elmo was traumatized by Katy Perry's decollatage after discovering that he had already "been arou...