Monday, July 17, 2006

Typically, I *like* the smell of banana

On my way back from Cleveland last Thursday I was walking through the underground portion that connects the three terminals to the Blue Line El train and the parking garage (picture at right taken at the peak area of stinkitude - note woman in yellow running for her life) when I noticed something different – O’Hare stinks.

By this, I meant not that flying through O’Hare stinks* but rather that the air itself was tinged with a weird, bizarre smell. The smell itself resembled men’s locker room coupled with just a hint of warm, mushed up banana. It was such an unusual smell that at first my nose didn’t even register that it smelled bad – it was like those times when someone sticks something in your face and says “Smell this!”. And even though it smells hideous, you can’t resist taking a second whiff just to let your brain analyze just how offensive the odor truly is.

The weird thing is that that portion of O’Hare doesn’t typically smell that bad. In fact, tit usually doesn’t smell at all. Maybe the mob moved Hoffa’s body somewhere under the people movers when the FBI tore up that farm in Michigan. Does anyone know if Hoffa died from overdosing on bananas? It sure would explain the smell...

* Although yes, frequently it does.

7 comments:

Spice said...

My dislike of O'Hare has reached the point where I'll fly through just about anywhere else just to avoid it. But then, I'm one of the lucky Madison residents who gets to fly into the F concourse (after a delightful 20-minute flight) and then sprint to B or C (a long run!) and then on the way back gets to do the same sprint and/or confront a cancelled flight to Madison, as UAL seems to think it's okay to have nine flights a day to Madison and then cancel half of them.

I've decided Minneapolis is so much better, even if it involves flying out of my way. Detroit is good, too.

But the next time I'm in O'Hare I'll be sure to take a good whiff!

towwas said...

Ooh - Spice, you make me very happy that Miss S and I are flying through Detroit this weekend. (Although I'm flying either into or out of O'Hare when I go to visit grrr in August.)

grrrbear said...

My experience at Detroit hasn't been nearly as good as your's Spice. Say what you want about O'Hare, but at least you can run from terminal F to terminal C without having to go through security again. When I flew through Detroit (after my flight to BWI stopped there for an emergency landing), I had to leave the terminal, take a taxi to the other terminal, go through security again, and then run like hell to make my flight.

At least DTW has the in-house tram system - that got me there with almost three whole minutes to spare.

Spice said...

Ah, I should have qualified my Detroit comment - Detroit is excellent if you're flying NWA and are in that spiffy terminal only. I've heard the other parts of the airport - which I haven't been in - are much less pleasant.

And I'll qualify my O'Hare rant as well - I think it's the connections that have led to my overwhelmingly negative reaction to it. I think at least three of my top five worst flying experiences involved connections in O'Hare, including #1 - the ill-fated trip to SFO that involved the only time I've demanded to speak to a manager at a gate desk and an unexpected stopover in Las Vegas. At some point United sent me a letter saying they were giving anyone who had to connect through O'Hare bonus miles because they realized how horrible it was.

I won't qualify my love of MSP, though - it's big, but there are moving sidewalks everywhere, plus a new tram thingie, and the food selection (French Meadow!) and shopping are excellent. Of course, it might kind of suck if you're flying anything other than NWA - are there even gates for other airlines in the main terminal anymore?

towwas said...

I love Detroit! Of course, I'm always on northwest, so I didn't know there were crappy terminals. The little tram is so fun! I also spent a very restful night on the floor of the Detroit airport once, which you'd think would make me hate it, but they pulled all the blankets and pillows off the planes, I made me a little bed under some seats, and I slept like a baby.

towwas said...

I take that back. I know a lot of babies who don't sleep very well. I slept very, very well.

Spice said...

When I pulled up this page today it first came up with a totally different template and it looked all weird and it freaked me out! I thought Grrr had gone all J.Bro with the changing of the page. Then the real look clicked back in and I was calm again.