Celebrate your unmentionables, America!

Wait a minute…yesterday was “National Underwear Day”? Complete with a fashion show of models parading around in their underwear in the middle of Time Square? How did I miss this? One would think that a society that hypes the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show as much as it does would be all over this. Do you think some senator actually got a resolution passed?

WHEREAS underwear was one of the primary causes for the Industrial Revolution, which brought great wealth to our country and strengthened our position as a global leader, and

WHEREAS underwear is one of the few things that unites our pluralistic society, since even though some prefer boxers and some prefer briefs, while others choose thongs and still others sport boy shorts – yet with the exception of a few dirty hippies we all wear some form of underwear, and

WHEREAS nobody doesn’t like watching hot chicks parade around in their skivvies,

THEREFORE we, the Congress of the United States of America, do hereby declare the 8th day of August to be National Underwear Day. To be celebrated via parades of underwear models in every community across this great nation. So may it be proclaimed throughout the land.

What’s even funnier is when you consider how many Senators could serve as sponsors of the bill where their name would only make it funnier: think “the Chafee-Boxer National Underwear Day Bill” or the “Crapo-Brownback Bill”. Hee hee hee…

Come to think of it, I wonder if this is why the waitress yesterday was showing off her underwear-fragment fashion…