Wednesday, August 02, 2006

My hips tell the world I'm a weirdo

Wrapping up the L&B Nuptuals-o-Fun (TM) stories, in the interest of time I'll skip over all the points Spice mentioned in her comment to focus on two parts of the trip that I found most noteworthy.

First, I learned that the general public in Michigan has no idea how to drive in winter. Being from Minnesota, winter driving instruction takes up a significant portion of driver's ed. We spent weeks covering concepts like “steering into the skid”, “black ice” and the safest distance to travel behind a snowplow* we spend at least a day talking about the dangers of bridges in winter. You see in the late fall and early spring – when temperatures hover just below freezing – one typically doesn't have to worry about ice on the road because the ground is warmer than the air temperature. With bridges though because there is no ground to keep them warm, you'll encounter situations where the road on either side of the bridge is fine, but that going over the bridge is a slick, icy mess. This fact was hammered into our collective heads so hard that I can barely cross a pedestrian bridge in July without watching my footing.

But apparently in Michigan, people need to be reminded of the fact that Bridges may be icy by placing a sign before each and every bridge in the state that says “BRIDGES MAY BE ICY”. We saw so many of these signs that what started off as an oddity quickly became an inside joke which eventually transformed into an old, boring comedy bit that everyone got tired of and no longer found funny – all in the course of 36 hours.

The other interesting anecdote occurred at the reception following the wedding. Well into the evening of dancing and groove-thing shaking, I was taking a break to catch my breath and rehydrate when a woman I had never met came up to me and started talking. She was very nice and a little tipsy, but she kept asking whether A.St was my girlfriend. When I replied in the negative she became a little touchy-feely – not in a pervy way, but more in a flirty way. Realizing that this could go nowhere (and noticing the large rock on her left ring finger) I told her about the GF, but that didn't really seem to stop her. She kept talking for about another half-hour until her husband came and (in his words) rescued me. She was very friendly though, and we bonded over the fact that we both drive the same car. When I got home and told the GF about it, she replied “Well, you do have a certain magnetism when you're on the dance floor”.

This was something that I wasn't really aware of. In fact after reviewing some inadvertent video clips shot on my camera where I am visible I think it's safe to say that that the GF refers to as “magnetism” could more adequately be described as a “grand mal seizure” or “body possessed by demons”. I think I look weird, but maybe that's true of everyone. Who knows? Maybe Shakira watches her music videos on MTV and thinks “Man, I look like such a freakazoid – I'm never working with that choreographer again...”**.

Anyway, it was fun to get hit on by a complete stranger. Even if it was the drunk girl and even if she was just making friendly conversation.

* The answer is: none. Get off the road and grab a cup of coffee to let it get far enough ahead of you so as to not be able to catch up. Tailgating a plow is nature's way of weeding out the mentally unfit-to-drive.
** Only she thinks this in Spanish, of course.

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