Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The "undisclosed location" revealed!

I find it interesting that the Vice Presidential residence is blurred out on Google’s satellite imagery while the White House, CIA Headquarters, and my house* are exposed for all the world to see. Sort of proves who is considered more important, no? Or, alternatively, perhaps whenever Cheney is hiding out in his “undisclosed location” that’s just code-talk for saying he’s at his house watching Oprah. After all, if his house can’t be seen from space, what’s more undisclosed than that?

Come to think of it, do you think that the VP arranged with Google to blur out the pictures, or do you think he has a roof-mounted jamming device that automatically scrambles the signal of any overhead cameras? The former is more likely, but the latter would be so much cooler! Plus, maybe it’s just his little gift to America – ensuring that we never have to actually look at his half-nekkid body lying out in the floating lounge chair at the pool.

Feeling slightly better today. Nose-blowing rate is down to about 2-3 times per hour, which is a big decrease over yesterday, which I’m very grateful for because I think that the lotion that Proctor & Gamble claims to put in its “Puffs with Lotion” is a load of crap. My nose is getting increasingly raw and tender, nothing like the smooth, tender, moisturizing caresses that the little claymation kid gets in the commercials.

* Don’t get your hopes up for a link here. If you know where I live then you don’t need to see it again, and if you don’t know where I live there’s probably a reason.

2 comments:

towwas said...

Lemme tell ya, the tissue offerings at your house were a lot gentler on the nose than any house I've been in since. But I haven't been blowing my nose that much, and you know why? The miracle of sudafed. It's a very good drug. I recommend it, if you can find anyone to sell it to you. (Maybe there's some nice meth dealers in your neighborhood who'd be willing to share a little?)

Spice said...

I don't like Puffs - they're too thick and even the non-lotion ones feel greasy to me. I'm a Kleenex gal when it comes to kleenex - maybe you should consider a switch?

I also just thought 'What a bizarre word - 'kleenex' - clearly a corporation-created name. I just did a quick Google search and learned that Kleenex were originally marketed as a way for the ladies to remove cold cream. But then people kept telling the company they used them for blowing their noses, and they took a little poll (this was in the 1920s, so that was pretty advanced), switched their marketing, and our modern snot rags were born!