Finally, after almost eight months of drought, it is once again time for my favorite time of year – fantasy football season! Wooo!!!!
[collective silence from reading audience…sound of crickets chirping…]
I know, I know. Given that the majority of my readership could probably not care less about football in general (much less fantasy football) you might be wondering why those of us who do get so freaking excited about it. For instance, the GF is so aware of how distracted I’ll be this first couple weekends of the season that she is taking off on a 10 day roadtrip adventure with her girlfriend tramping around the desert southwest*.
Actually, that is probably a good idea. The first two weeks of football season are the most hectic in all of fantasy football, as players curse bad draft picks and frantically try to sign available players who are off to fast starts. It’s two weekends of controlled chaos and backstabbing as each owner tries to pick up layers that the others are all waiting to grab. It’s hard to imagine how brutal it can be, but picture a pack of rabid dingos all fighting over the same bologna sandwich – only they can all breathe fire and their tails can be used as whips…and it’s all taking place underwater like the scuba war in “Thunderball”…and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are being held in a cage that is slowly being lowered into a tank full of sharks with friggin’ laser beams attached to their heads and only me and my team of NFL upstarts can save them…
Wait, that’s a different sort of fantasy.
Anyway, if you prefer to TomKat to Tom Brady and paparazzi to penalty flags check out this link. It’s a site set up to take the idea of fantasy sports and apply it to the celebrity magazines. You get to draft celebrities and then get points when they appear on the cover of magazines. Maybe if folks would be into it, I could set up a league where me and my readers could square off in a battle of pop crap culture supremacy. Feel free to comment if that’s something that appeals to you.
In the meantime, I’m off to figure out my starting lineup for this week…
* Sure, she claims this is a coincidence, but it still seems pretty “convenient”.