Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Quickie - The time has come for every kid to be legally obligated to fall down

As a child of the '80s, I did the following:
  • Swung (and fell) from monkey bars suspended above pits of gravel which may or may not also contain pieces of broken glass
  • Played touch football every day from 3rd grade through 6th grade
  • Had my thighs scorched by the playgrounds metal slide on warm afternoons in late May
  • Skinned innumerable knees on the asphalt-covered basketball/four-square court
  • Hit my head countless times on low-slung bars
  • Fell out of at least one tree surrounding the playground
  • Cut my hand on the poorly-sanded metal poles stuck into the ground as "entertainment"

And yet, somehow I managed to survive my elementary school years to become an adult. Now, thanks to the lawyers and stupid parents, kids in one school in Massachusets can't even play tag during recess. It's only a metter of time before "All right kids, it's time for recess! Everybody walk outside and sit down on the ground quietly...Billy! Get off the grass - don't touch the nature!"

No wonder the North Koreans aren't afraid of us - their kids are all working in textile mills, surrounded by deadly machinery while ours can't even play tag. They must all think we're a nation of milquetoasts...

2 comments:

The Phoenix said...

But our kids will be fantastic at sitting their asses down for two hours and doing homework...before the 3rd grade even!

Grafs said...

Exactly. When did we become a nation of wusses?

After all, Elmo seems equally disinterested in both...

I have a hard time believing that Elmo was traumatized by Katy Perry's decollatage after discovering that he had already "been arou...