Thursday, October 19, 2006

Without the world's biggest twineball, it's not a legit vote anyway

Some silly company has decided that the what the world needs now is a “new” set of 7 Wonders of the World, due to almost all of the original 7 Ancient Wonders having disappeared due to earthquakes or poor fire safety*. For those of you who never played Civilization, the original seven wonders were:
  • The Great Pyramid at Giza

  • The Colossus at Rhodes

  • The Mausolleum at Helicarnassus

  • The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus

  • The Statue of Zeus at Olympia

  • The Lighthouse at Alexandria

  • The Hanging Gardens of Babylon

But now this 7wonders.com website company is “allowing” people to vote on which still-standing edifices are good enough to be considered wonders for contemporary society. Never minding the fact that this has already been done several times by other groups. Of course, you can vote the first time for free, but if you really want to support your favorite candidate, you have to buy extra votes**.

Needless to say I find this whole thing to be schlock. I mean, where does it end? Hey, I know – all the original 12 disciples are dead, right? Let’s all vote for new ones! I’ll run the vote. Since it’s pretty much a popularity contest, I’d anticipate that the nominees would include:

  • The Pope (seeing as how Peter was considered the first pope, it’s sort of a legacy thing)

  • Any or all of the Britney Spears/Paris Hilton/Lindsay Lohan scandal-triumvirate

  • Stephen Colbert/Jon Stewart (they seem to get internet votes for everything)

  • Pat Robertson (the evangelicals would sweep him into candidacy)

  • Elmo (either regular or the T.M.X. version – both wildly popular with the kids)

  • Chuck Norris

  • Gary Brolsma (the Numa Numa dance guy)

  • P-Diddy

  • Xenu (a desperately misguided attempt by scientologists to give their galactic overload crossover appeal)

You may laugh now, but once that’s done the next web-vote will no doubt be for new versions of the 12 days of Christmas*** and the Seven Sisters****.

* “Remember kids, only you can prevent wonder fires!”
** Sort of like lobbying a congressman. See, kids, it’s educational too!
*** “Fiiiive, iPod Nanos!”
**** Look out Vassar, here comes University of Phoenix!

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