Monday, January 08, 2007

Ahhhh...

You know, sometimes it just feels good to blow an entire Saturday doing nothing. Particularly after many weekends in a row spent with family or traveling long distances or shopping for presents. And since the GF had a friend’s baby-shower to attend, I had the entire day to myself. Sure, I could have picked up around the house, put away my TXT*, and blogged, blogged, blogged; but instead I chose to lay around watching Discovery Channel, reading, and napping. I did, however, ponder some things which I’d been meaning to ponder for a while.

For one, why are women all into showers? They have showers for babies, showers for weddings…and who knows what else they throw showers for in secret that they don’t tell us about?**. This is another reason it’s better to be a guy. If you’re a woman and a friend of yours is pregnant, you have to reserve a Saturday afternoon, go check the baby registry online, pick out some obscenely overpriced gift that will either break or become outgrown in a week, and then spend an hour oohing and aahing over all the crap that everyone else bought.

If you’re a guy, though, and a buddy knocks up somebody then all you have to do is give him a high five*** or say “Dude, that sucks”****. Either way your moral obligation is complete. Plus everybody can drink beer while you do it without worrying about ruining your child’s future.

* Tiny Xmas Tree. It’s a little over a foot high but is pre-decorated and the only “take-down” required is putting it back in the box.
** Finding cute shoes? Getting a good haircut/color? Surviving a waxing?
*** If it was intentional
**** If it wasn’t

4 comments:

towwas said...

I wouldn't say *all* women are into showers, Mr. Generalizer. In my limited experience, showers kind of suck. You have to play dumb games and watch someone else open presents. You should be glad to miss out.

Spice said...

Huh - it seems like guys have put showers in the realm of 'collective trips to the bathroom' - i.e. sacred realms of women.

In the last few years I've co-hosted three different showers (1 wedding, 2 baby), and each time we've done them as co-ed deals with minimal girliness. And still the guys always seem a little hesitant and confused and like they feel out of place. At the end of the most recent baby shower, one guy said, "I was really wary of coming to this, but it was really fun!" I wanted to respond "Dude, it was a brunch with a entertaining game (match the baby photo to the person) and a chance to hang out with cool people - how could it not be fun?"

Of course, as TOWWAS notes, showers can also be incredibly lame. But I think the hosts are always a clue - someone's aunt? probably lame. someone's fun same-age friends? much higher chance of fun.

Kay said...

I dread showers. Mostly because regardless of the occasion, someone will invariably ask me when I'm having a baby. Not that I'm pregnant (or even look pregnant), but because they must really be wishing for a punch in the head. :)

grrrbear said...

towwas: That's Captain Generalizer, to you, and yes, I am glad I dno't get the invites.

spice: Truthfully, I think that almost any guy can be convinced any event was fun if there are three things there: food, something to drink, and attractive women. Any of these can, of course be replaced with the wild card, which is "sports on television". Wait...am I generalizing again?

Kay: My advice is wait for the next time this happens pretend to tear up, start your lower lip trembling, and start yelling "How could you ask that!?!? DON'T YOU KNOW!?!?!?" and then run out of the room crying. Go out for a drink at the local pub, and when you return just keep repeating "I don't want to talk about it..." You'll never be asked that again.

After all, Elmo seems equally disinterested in both...

I have a hard time believing that Elmo was traumatized by Katy Perry's decollatage after discovering that he had already "been arou...