Keep your pants on, son...please

Yesterday I had to do one of my least favorite things in the world – the one-day business trip. I have come to accept that I’m going to be traveling more in this new position, but I still loathe the “out and back in a day” trip. Even worse, this particular trip took me to Detroit, one of the few cities that would make me choose Cleveland if forced to choose between the two*.

Traditionally, flying out of O’Hare means that at least one of your flights (outbound or returning) will be delayed or cancelled. And true to form, my flight that morning was 45 minutes late leaving. And here I had woken up at 4 AM because I was concerned that traffic or security lines would be bad…

The trip itself was fine. I did get a rental car that had one of those GPS navigation systems built-in. Typically I don’t use those things because I feel like it’s the lazy-man’s way out of responsible navigation. Since you never have to pay attention to where you are or where you are going, I’m always a little suspicious of them and avoid them. Of course, that didn’t stop me from buying one for my mom for Xmas**.

After my trip was done was perhaps the most unusual part of the trip. As I was pulling into the return area of the rental car place, I noticed a suitcase left alone next to the car in front of me. I thought it was a little suspicious. Given that Homeland Security has elevated the threat level to Orange, and since no one else was around, I thought I’d go investigate***. As I approached, I saw that the car it was next to was *not* empty as I had believed. Rather, it was occupied by a young man…who was busy frantically changing his pants. I immediately averted my eyes and walked past, pretending that I hadn’t seen him. I don’t know, maybe he was delusional and believed that the rear-windows of his rental Sonata were tinted. Maybe he really thought he could get his pants off and swapped before anyone else returned a rental car, who knows?

All *I* know is never to change my pants in public.

* The others include Erie PA, Buffalo NY, and Flint, MI.
** Even though my stepdad is the one who will really benefit…
*** Because I’m *totally* qualified to disarm suitcase bombs, of course, having seen MacGuyver do it all the time.

Comments

ThatIsMeWhat said…
I've THOUGHT about changing in a car, but the lack of tinting made me think twice. He's lucky he didn't get stuck with his pants down by homeland security. Only terrists change pants in cars!
towwas said…
My car has really heavy tinting in the back, and I changed pants in it once in the parking lot at work (a newspaper where I was interning). It was evening. I hope I got away with it. Kay Ray was there as a lookout.
KC said…
That MacGuyver dude can do anything! I find it a bit funny that although I never watched that show while it was on, I still *know* that Mac can get out of any situation with a piece of chewing gum and a couple twist ties.
Kay said…
I have changed pants in a car before. Several times in fact. As far as I know, no one saw me and my pasty white thighs. Then again, I was being discreet and definitely not going commando.