Friday, January 26, 2007

Small-town business development plan goes bust...literally

Say you're a bar owner in small-town Illinois. It's Thursday night and it's a slow night. Profits haven't been all that great, and you're looking for something to do to keep yourself entertained during the day. Sure, you could develop a hobby like stamp collecting or numismatism. But those cost money and, let's face it, don't really get the chicks beating down your door.

Being the creative person you are, you decide to diversify your business and open up a tanning salon. This has two benefits: one, it ensures you get lots of hot chicks coming through your door on a daily basis. And two, coupled with some inexpensive pinhole cameras, it provides all the content you need for your rapidly-developing voyeurism habit.

Sound made up, right? But no, this guy actually did videotape women using the restroom and tanning bed in his bar. And now he's been arrested for it, not only because he's a perv but (apparently) some of the girls he caught on camera were minors.

But here's where I start pondering - if he's running a *bar*, shouldn't girls have to be of age in order to get in to begin with? I mean, he must either have the worst bouncers in the world* or someone in Pontiac makes the best fake ID's *ever*. Who knows? Maybe that's the economic foundation of the town.

And now that I think about it a bit, did none of the women find it just a little unusual that a *bar* had a tanning booth in it? I mean, seriously, what happened to common sense - did none of these women see Porky's or Revenge of the Nerds growing up? If not then we need to mandate showing those movies in Junior High school. Otherwise we're letting an entire generation of young women loose on the world with no knowledge of the lengths boys will go to to see their underwears.

* "Sorry hon, you're not 21 so no entry...what? You're just here to use the tanning booth? Oh, well then come on in! Just go through the bar, past the free jaeger shot table, up the stairs and to your right. Have fun!"

6 comments:

towwas said...

Plenty of bars only card for serving drinks, silly. Or does that vary by state?

grrrbear said...

Really? Every bar I've ever been to in IL carded you at the door, but maybe that's just a Chicago thing...

Still, you have to admit that the "tanning bed in a bar" thing is weird, right?

towwas said...

Heh. Yes, it's pretty weird to have tanning beds in a bar. A bar: not a place I would normally choose to get naked.

J.Bro said...

I think it does vary by state - bars in NE only start checking IDs after 10:00 pm if I remember right. And that's well past prime tanning-hours.

Now I'm commenting on the comment towwas made about not getting naked in a bar. When I was in NE for xmas, I learned that the local (read: only) bar in the town where I went to high school doesn't sell logo t-shirts - they only swap them for whatever shirt you're wearing. And only if you're a chick. There were two t-shirt-swaps while we were there - weird.

Grafs said...

I'm always paranoid about this stuff. I just assume someone is watching when I'm in public.

Sophist said...

well, I'm sure the tanning booth pinhole brought the peeping fellow much pleasure while it worked. But USING THE BATHROOM????? ugh, whatever flips his boat I guess.