If we declare war on War, does he have to kill himself?

The White House has announced that they have created a new position and are currently searching for candidates to fill it. This new position would essentially be responsible for managing the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and implementing the administration’s strategeries. The thing is they are having a hard time filling the position. One of the candidates they interviewed stated “The very fundamental issue is, they don’t know where the hell they’re going.”

Obviously, there are many, many questions that one could blog about given a topic of this nature. First, one would have to ask why we would need a new “war czar” or “chief war commander” in the first place? I mean, isn’t that the job of the COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF? Or did he get quietly reassigned to BRUSH-CLEARER-IN-CHIEF over the weekend*?

Second, why stop only at the wars in Afghanistan? Shouldn’t this person also be responsible for dealing with the Wars on Terror, Drugs, and Poverty as well? What about the War on Christmas? Does the administration really believe that Santa has *nothing* to do with the Drug Trade in Afghanistan? How else do they think he makes the little children so happy? Are we really expected to believe that the elves can stay up for weeks at a time purely on the rush of Christmas cheer and not crystal meth?


* Not that I'd complain. Bush's war on brush has been very effective in clearing much of Crawford of such rogue elements as Leafy Spurge, Nightshade, and Sheep Sorrell bin-Laden.