Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Like an out-of-body experience, but still in your body

Running across this story all over the internet yesterday made me very grateful that I haven't gone to a company-sponsored event in about three years. A local woman was dancing with her bosses husband at a company party when he surprised her by grabbing her forearms and tossing her in the air, causing her to crash to the floor where she suffered a "broken skull and brain injuries".

My first thought was to see if there was a website of the store where they worked. And it turns out there is. Browsing the site*, I ran across this page where you can see two diferent women modeling the various apparel. Now, given that this is an independant shop, odds are that the throw-ee is probably one of them, and the owner is the other one**.

Then I got to wondering whether Ms. Hindman*** was wearing one of these ponchos on the night of the throwing. I'm doubtful she was though, because if she had it likely would have acted as a small parachute, allowing her to float lightly to the floor unharmed.

Regardless, I think the moral of this story is: never dance with your wife's 22-year old female employee. No matter how innocuous you think you are being, it's going to get you in trouble one way or another - either with your wife, or with the jitterbug gods.

Oh, and also - always wear your poncho when you go dancing. It may just save your life.

* Oh, and by the way all you ladies thinking of going shopping here? How much cred do you give to a clothing store that refers to Beyonce's hips as "small" compared to Liv Tyler's "full" ones? Particilarly when both of them point you at the same pair of jeans? Yeah, I didn't think so much either.
** My bet is that the brunette is the most likely throw-ee, as she looks more like she's 22.
*** You have no idea how hard it is for me not to refer to her as "Ms. Underall"...

4 comments:

towwas said...

The J.Lo body type also gets the same jeans...but if you're Paris Hilton? You're outta luck. No jeans at all.

grrrbear said...

Which is probably fine, when you think about it, because she never wears anything below her waist anyway...

Spice said...

I think it's hilarious that there's a category for 'Minnetonka Moccasins' on that page! I loved them in junior high, but who knew that they were trendy again??!?

grrrbear said...

Apparently, they were * really* trendy last year for almost three weeks, but they've gone downhill since then.

Of course, that means they're *just* coming into fashion in my hometown....

After all, Elmo seems equally disinterested in both...

I have a hard time believing that Elmo was traumatized by Katy Perry's decollatage after discovering that he had already "been arou...