Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Today: Keychains, tomorrow: belt buckles trucker hats, and pashminas

Walking through the office this morning, I noticed that there was a set of keys sitting on top of a shelf, seemingly abandoned. Figuring they were just sitting there temporarily, I left them where they were*. Ordinarily, this wouldn't really be noteworthy - but one of the multiple key fobs on the keys caught my eye.

You see, as soon as I saw the keys, I knew they belonged to a woman. Yes, this was partially due to the fact that there were just as many key rings on it as there were keys. But the most telling sign was the giant VICTORIAS SECRET enscribed on the metal plate attached to the leather tag. I figured it was kinda of obvious that no man would carry around a Victorias Secret key ring; much less one that was 3" x 5".

I was still confused, though. Why would a woman want to haul a big Victorias Secret label on her person all the time? Doesn't it have to be kind of annoying to carry around all that extra weight? But then I got to thinking about all the celebri-sluts in Hollywood getting themselves another 5 minutes of fame by "forgetting" their panties as they get out of the car or somehow "neglecting" to wear a bra right before they hit the mega-powerful flash photographers on the red carpet. And maybe whoever owned those keys was showing off the Victorias Secret keychain as a subtle way of advertising "Hey all you attractive eligible bachelors! I wear underwear! I'm not a skank!".

That's when it hit me: I figured that maybe this is a great idea of Victorias Secret - after years of being successful designing lingerie that let women feel a little naughty, now they start coming out with innocuous-looking accessories to advertise to the world that you've got some personal decency.

Kind of ironic considering how much money they must have made via the sale of panty-line eliminating g-strings.

* Sure enough, they were gone when I walked by again a few minutes later.

1 comment:

miss shirley said...

I don't understand multiple key rings. I did it in junior high, but I also wore multiple witty buttons on my Guess jean jacket. Some things should stay in junior high.