Non-Live (Dead?) Blogging the Oscars

Although I spent pretty much all the Oscars alone in my apartment doing last-minute work stuff for a big presentation tomorrow, I can’t let an Oscars go by without my yearly “Thoughts on the Oscars” overview. Unfortunately, because I was working, I couldn’t live-blog it like I usually do, so here’s what I can recall during my short 10 minute lunch break:

  • Why is Best Supporting actor the first award? Aren’t we supposed to sit through an hour or two of technical awards and art direction before we get to the beefy stuff? Or do you think that maybe the Academy was feeling sorry for all the Spaniards staying up to watch Javier Bardem win and just said “Ah hell, let’s get it over with so they can go to bed? Notice how the Academy hates the French though – making them stay up and wait for Marion Cotillard and all. I mean, sure she was a bit of a surprise, but the Irish had to wait for Daniel Day-Lewis, didn’t they?
  • How in the HE** did Transformers not win for Best Special Effects?!?! A bunch of talking polar bears* is somehow more impressive than CARS that TURN INTO FRIGGIN GIANT ROBOTS and shoot LASERS!?! I think not. Bad call, Academy…
  • I am ambivalent about the Ratatouille win for best Animated Feature. Provided that “Surf’s Up” didn’t win, because surfing penguins that talk like Ninja Turtles is an insult to my intelligence. Ratatouille was not awful, but why wasn’t Transformers up for this? If 85% of the action is CGI characters and special effects I think it’s “animated” enough.
  • Why is Miley Cyrus presenting at the Academy Awards? Am I just not getting something here or is this just a desperate attempt to get little kids excited about watching the Oscars?
    Okay lady-readers. How many of you are all excited about the prospect of winning Heidi Klum’s gown from the red carpet for some “heart health for women” ad campaign? It just seems like if you’re going to give something away, it should be something that the winner could actually *use* if you want people to get excited about it. Sure, I’m sure Ms. Klum has some stalkers that would be very glad to win said dress, but I doubt they’re all up about women’s cardiovascular needs.
  • The Bourne Ultimatum’s sweep of the Sound categories is unwarranted. I saw that movie and the sound was pretty good, but it was no Transformers. I think the Academy just hates Michael Bay. As well they should, but sheesh.
  • Damn. Helen Mirren is one fine lookin’ dame. Literally and figuratively.
  • Wowsers! Good thing they gave Diablo Cody the envelope in addition to the Oscar itself. That dress was cut up so high that if she hadn’t been able to use the envelope as a shield, America would have seen London, France, and any other western European countries located up around her unmentionables.
  • Good for Jon Stewart for bringing out Marketa Irglova after the commercial break to give her part of the speech for Best Song. Damn conductor-guy-who’s-name-I-always-recognize-but-then-forget-the-next-morning and his totalitarian regime!
  • No Country for Old Men wins the big ones. Yay Minnesota!

* Granted, they were wearing armor – but that should have been considered in “Best Costuming” obviously…


miss shirley said…
Hmm, did you like Transformers? I heard Megan Fox was hot and that was the best part of the movie.
grrrbear said…
Overall I enjoyed Transformers, but that was more because it wasn't as awful as I had feared that Michael Bay would make it, and because the special effects were really good.

And, yes, Megan Fox was totally hot. Although the odd thing is that when I see pictures of her in real life she looks kinda, I dunno...dirty. And not even "Xtina" Aguilera dirty. More like "slutty girl at the bar that you avoid because you get the feeling she has herpes" kind of dirty.
towwas said…
If I won Heidi Klum's gown, I would hope that it came with several yards of extra fabric so it could be expanded to fit me. (Not that I saw the gown. I'm just assuming it was sized for a stick figure.)