You've sold me!

This week I've actually had an opportunity to get out and run some errands, which is good because a) I haven't had time to do much of that over the last couple weeks and b) I'm traveling for a lot of June and July so I won't get to do much then either. And my milk expired.

But it's amazing how my brain shuts down to advertising messages when I'm not actualyl shopping. It's a sort of "don't talk to me" psychology that, once I turn it off, allows me to suddenly notice all kinds of amusing sales pitches while I'm running errands.

For example:

It's not just any sale - it's SUPER GLOCK sale!!! Of course, one wonders whether the sale itself is "super" ("Hey look at how much less expensive it is to kill people!") or the Glocks have been improved to make them "SUPERGLOCKS" ("Wow, *this* Glock popped a cap on that guys ass *so* much better than my old Glock!"). Note that you can't take advantage of it anymore anyway. Apparently it was only a weekend sale or something.

This next one is a store I drive by on my way to work every day, but I never actually read the sign until I was carpooling with S.Jo a few weeks back. Sure, the color choice makes it kind of difficult to actually read the second part of the store "motto" but if you click on the image you'll get the full-size picture in all its lousy-grammar greatness:

Really? *That* is how you want to get me excited to buy clothes from you - because when the mall closes for the day you're still open? "Oh crap! I need to buy some shirts but it's 3:00 am and I can't get into Macy's for another SIX HOURS! WHAT TO DO!?!?!?"

It's a good thing they've diversified into producing records.


towwas said…
As a white person, I can NOT let pass the fact that you have a grammatical error in the sentence where you point out someone else's bad grammar. You used "it's" when you meant "its." It's my grammatical pet peeve.

Good, I was wondering where I could get a Glock for cheap.
grrrbear said…
Duly noted (and corrected). Oh, the chagrin...
Sophist said…
We still readin yo blog even tho we aint been commentin.
J.Bro said…
As another white person, I noticed that the sign actually reads, "When the mall's close..." which I assume means that when Chicago's Traveling Sideshow Mall is nearby, this store is open. The "still" confuses me though. If the openness of this store is condition on the orbiting mall being near, then why use the permanence of "still selling"? I'm going to google the phone number and talk to a manager.