2 legit 2 quit?

Recently, I received an email from a student at my undergrad college informing me of a new publication that students would be churning out. The point of this magazine was, no doubt, to serve as an ego trip for whichever student started it. My college has a long history of student organizations being started by a motivated student to advance a particular purpose (frequently these purposes are of the highest aspirations and best of intentions). Invariably, however, the organization loses steam and dies out because no other students are interested in maintaining it; choosing instead to start their own organizations that do the same thing, as it looks better on your resume/grad school application to say you started the organization than you were a member of one that already existed. Yeah...because *nobody* thought to support AIDS research until you came along...genius idea, kiddo, let me know when that MacArthur grant comes through.

Anyway, this particular magazine was designed to serve as an outlet for student writers, where they would research topics suggested by alumni. They were also soliciting alumni writers for occasional work. This got me thinking about what makes a person a writer as opposed to "some guy who types stuff occasionally". I write pretty regularly for this blog, trying to come up with enough new material to publish something new at least every day. But I don't consider myself to be "a writer" in the strict sense of the word. The GF is a real writer - she's had plays produced and won awards for screenplays and stuff. I can't wait until I get to go to the oscars when she's nominated, so I can get nice and tipsy and mock all the scientologists ("Hey Tom! If the Raelians come and take you away before you can accept the award, won't you be *pissed*?"). But a few weeks ago she told me she thinks I'm a better writer than her because I'm "writing stuff almost every day".

This *shocked* me. Me? A Writer? But I'm not moody enough! I don't wear berets and unusual artistic ponchos! I don't chain smoke long, thin, bitter-smelling cigarettes! I don't get in arguments about post-modernism and deconstructing Hemingway! I like composing long essays on boobs and discussing the finer distinctions between a Christian God and Japanese movie-monsters. That's not what writers write about... Moreover, I *certainly* haven't realized any sort of financial reward from this endeavor. It's just an outlet; a way to throw out some silly anecdotes and observations and hope that something sticks to the funny bone of those random folks that stumble across this particular corner of the great internet corn maze. It's pure ego. I like the feeling of putting together something that I find hysterically funny (Editor's note: the author of this blog fully realizes not all of his posts fit this description, but sometimes time is short and the Daily Show is starting soon so standards must be compromised) and seeing which posts people respond to and which ones people gloss over. Sometimes I totally think I've figured out something that will get giggles, and other times I'll throw something up to the sound of the proverbial e-crickets. Just proves the point that I am typically not the next coming of Mark Twain or Will Rogers. Or even Carrot Top, for that matter.

Ever since the GF brought this up I've occasionally revisited this idea of whether I'm a legitimate "writer". And I waffle about whether or not I consider myself to be one. Then I think about how much I like waffles. Then I think about where the nearest place is where one could acquire waffles in the event of an emergency. If it's a long way away I ponder whether pancakes would serve as a suitable replacement, and at what stage of a waffle emergency would one be so desperate that just about any breakfast griddle-construct would serve (e.g. french toast, crepes, etc). By that time I'll have forgotten about the issue entirely. It's the great advantage of having the attention span of a gnat.