Thursday, May 25, 2006

Now that I'm caffinated, I'm more cogent

I was highly amused this morning when I saw that someone recently found my blog by searching Google for “what to wear to clubs”.  Those of you who know me* understand that this is soooo not the reason to consult me or anything I write in an attempt to get fashion advice or insight into the “club fashion” mindset.  But if you want my advice, here it is:

Women:
  1. Take whatever you’re thinking of wearing currently and reduce the amount of covered flesh by half.  

  2. Double check to make sure people can see your whale-tail

  3. Glitter, glitter, glitter!

Men:
  1. Take however much gel you’re thinking of wearing in your hair and double it

  2. Double check to make sure you un-tuck the shirt you wore to the office

  3. Trucker hats!

This is why I’m not hosting What Not to Wear, The Oscars, or MTV’s “The Grind”.

But at least I know enough not to search the web for fashion advice.

*And any of you who has read this for more than a week or so

5 comments:

J.Bro said...

If a fake ad I saw on SNL is to be believed, I think the correct term is "coin-slot". And Lindsey Lohan had a body double show hers.

grrrbear said...

Not that I've ever heard that expression before, but logically, wouldn't it seem that "coin slot" would only be appropriate if the woman was going commando? Whereas whale-tail implies a thong. Of course, I'm in no way qualified to make that assumption.

Where are the lady readers who talk about this stuff with their friends, cattily dissing the skanky girls at the clubs, when we need them?

The Phoenix said...

Trucker hats???

I Blog, You Blog said...

I was actually at a club last night and I can tell you that several of the ladies there (ok, girls) took your first bit of advice.

One young woman was there in her (string bikini) underwear.

...and fishnets.

*shrug* I looked exceptionally old in my clothed state, but I still danced like no one was watching. Woohoo!

miss shirley said...

When I was clubbing (back in my day) a bare belly was appropriately risque. What will they be doing in ten years? Naked clubbing seems so unappealing in SOOOOOO many ways. Some things aren't meant to be seen bouncing,

After all, Elmo seems equally disinterested in both...

I have a hard time believing that Elmo was traumatized by Katy Perry's decollatage after discovering that he had already "been arou...