Sometimes I'm amazed by how much news I *don't* catch on an average day. For example, while researching witty answers* to Nowhere Girl's latest mini contest I stumbled across news about an amazing new toy revolution that Mattell came out with just in time for the release of Harry Potter and the Sorcer's Stone. In the midst of the veritable tsunami of costumes, coloring books, and action figures released in the merchandising blitz was a toy recreation of Harry's Nimbus 2000 Quidditch broom.
As you can see from the picture used to advertise it, this broom was the funnest toy ever invented. Hordes of young girls** swept into toy stores across the country, demanding that their desires for broom-play be sated. They loved all the features that were included:
And, of course, that set off the Immorality Early Warning alarm of the morality police. First out of the gate were the Concerned Women for America****, issueing an alarming press release to warn women across the country that their daughters were being turned into jezebels by the witchcraft present in a fake broom. As word of this got out, it resulted in pranksters heading over to the Amazon site featuring the broom to post fake opinions that demonstrated the evil influences the "broom of lust" had on their daughters.
Of course, most of those opinions have since been removed - either because they are old or because Amazon got tired of the controversey. But you can still read them in the CWA release. For example - “Even my daughter’s friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this magic broomstick!!”
Priceless. One wonders why it isn't being bought by mothers across the country, but not for their kids...
* I couldn't actually remember any of the right answers, so I was shooting for witty, at least. It turns out the contest ended before I could find something.
** And femmy young boys in mom-jeans
***"Dude! I'm flying so fast the broom's *shaking*!"
**** Concerned that at any given moment, some woman, somewhere in America, may be having an unlicenced orgasm.
As you can see from the picture used to advertise it, this broom was the funnest toy ever invented. Hordes of young girls** swept into toy stores across the country, demanding that their desires for broom-play be sated. They loved all the features that were included:
- The broom looks almost exactly like an actual broom! Except that you can't sweep anything, and it's about half the size of the brooms in the movie
- The broom makes it's own whooshing sounds! Eliminating that annoying need to either imagine what it would sound like or - God forbid - make the sounds themselves
- The stick part is *grooved* - not only for better gripping while snitch-chasing, but also to further heighten the real-broom experience!
And, of course, that set off the Immorality Early Warning alarm of the morality police. First out of the gate were the Concerned Women for America****, issueing an alarming press release to warn women across the country that their daughters were being turned into jezebels by the witchcraft present in a fake broom. As word of this got out, it resulted in pranksters heading over to the Amazon site featuring the broom to post fake opinions that demonstrated the evil influences the "broom of lust" had on their daughters.
Of course, most of those opinions have since been removed - either because they are old or because Amazon got tired of the controversey. But you can still read them in the CWA release. For example - “Even my daughter’s friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this magic broomstick!!”
Priceless. One wonders why it isn't being bought by mothers across the country, but not for their kids...
* I couldn't actually remember any of the right answers, so I was shooting for witty, at least. It turns out the contest ended before I could find something.
** And femmy young boys in mom-jeans
***"Dude! I'm flying so fast the broom's *shaking*!"
**** Concerned that at any given moment, some woman, somewhere in America, may be having an unlicenced orgasm.
Comments
Those bitches are expensive on eBay.
I thought about getting my kids one... but was worried that I may become attached to it?! ;)
(I'm sick, sick, sick!!! Bad NWG!)