All right, the 17 year cicadas are back? Why is it that it just seems like they were “back” just a year or two ago? I distinctly recall seeing one with red eyes in my back porch at my current place, which means it couldn’t have been more than 3 years ago. Are there more than one wave of 17-year cicadas?
In other local news today, a man traveling with his mother on vacation to Turkey was arrested after telling security screeners at O’Hare that the penis pump he was carrying in his luggage was a bomb. Apparently, he preferred prison to having his mom learn that her son had issues with penis envy.
Okay, so you’re at the airport with your mom and they discover your “little helper”. I can think of hundreds of things that would sound more reasonable than “bomb”. For example, he could have told them it was a suction device for clearing clogged drains – because you never know how hairy the person was who had your hotel room before you. Or, alternatively, you could say that it a massage therapy device used to give the same results as massage cupping*
Anyway, I’m sure mom’s really proud now that her son’s in jail. At least he doesn’t use a penis pump.
* AKA “hickeys”. Seriously, how can cupping not give you massive ones all over your body? Do you see how far those things suck your skin in?