Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Live! From Portland, ME!

Yes, despite my pledge to get back on board this week I already had a little slip-up. You see, I had to fly out to Maine yesterday for a business meeting this morning. Naturally, there is only one airline still flying direct from O'Hare to Portland and naturally, it isn't American*. Rather it was United, who I used to fly a lot when I first moved back to Chicago. The fact that they gave out free bags o' pretzels with the beverage service though kind of made me miss them. It was enough to make me think maybe American should just declare bankruptcy already - I mean if United can now give out free food again because of it, it can't be all bad, right? Of course, the free pretzels only kind of balanced out the fact that I was sitting in the very last row - next to the bathroom**. The worst part of sitting back there is not that you're close to the bathroom, rather it's that the seats don't recline and you're *right* next to the engines. Another sign from God that buying those noise-canceling headphones was money well spent. At least I got the benefit of sitting next to the attractive woman, which (combined with the pretzels) balanced out the flight.

Now, before everyone accuses me of being a perv, there are very legitimate reasons why sitting next to the pretty girl is the "home run" of any business trip:
  • First, they are pretty small, so they don't hog up the armrest with their rolls of belly fat and violate your personal space with their arm/meatbags.
  • Second, they smell nice, which sure beats sitting next to the Eurotrash kid who doesn't believe in deodorant and just got off a nine-hour flight from Amsterdam.
  • Third, they have social skills, but aren't (usually) rude. They will typically just mind their own business (great if you need to get work done on a flight) but are also pretty friendly (if you feel chatty) provided don't make an ass of yourself trying to hit on them.
On this trip, I had to get work done, so I kept to myself. But the non-stinkiness and getting to keep my personal space were great.

Oh, plus, I got a convertible when I picked up my rental car. And it's supposed to be sunny and mid-70's whiel I'm here. Good thing I brought sunscreen for my head!

* Where I am *this* close to being a Gold member. Early boarding privileges - woo!

** Number of people needing to pee during the flight? Six.

5 comments:

The Phoenix said...

I got to sit next to a real pretty girl only once...she turned out to be a Jesus-freak.

THAT was one long flight.

towwas said...

The last row makes me want to cry and throw things. Once I sat next to a cute boy. He was Polish. He told me I should come visit his family's ice cream shop outside of Warsaw, but I think I finally lost the address.

KC said...

"They smell nice" makes me wonder, did she smell nice because she had proper hygiene habits or because she was wearing perfume? I would not be able to sit next to anyone on a plane for hours at a time if he or she smelled of cologne or perfume. If I were forced to do that, I'd have to go through a box of kleenex and several doses of allergy meds. That would not make for a good flight, no matter how pleasant she/he was.

J-Vo said...

When I fly, I require that all seatmates let me grip the armrests and freak out about the possibility of plunging to a fiery death for the first half of the flight in silence, and then, after I relax, I will talk with them. Anyone who opens their yap at me while I'm in freak-out mode is not about to get a fine how-do-you-do!

J.Bro said...

When I flew back from Los Angeles last month, I would have killed for an average-looking seatmate. Like a girl from New Mexico that played a little volleyball in high school, but has been a little too busy with Psych homework to hit the gym at UCLA. Instead, I was squished between two seacows - one of which was chatty, one of which was reading the newspaper. I couldn't use the armrests because they were covered - and not by arms. It was the closest I've come to asking for a new seat, and if the flight wasn't full and I hadn't been raised in the Midwest, I totally would have done it.