Live! From Portland, ME!

Yes, despite my pledge to get back on board this week I already had a little slip-up. You see, I had to fly out to Maine yesterday for a business meeting this morning. Naturally, there is only one airline still flying direct from O'Hare to Portland and naturally, it isn't American*. Rather it was United, who I used to fly a lot when I first moved back to Chicago. The fact that they gave out free bags o' pretzels with the beverage service though kind of made me miss them. It was enough to make me think maybe American should just declare bankruptcy already - I mean if United can now give out free food again because of it, it can't be all bad, right? Of course, the free pretzels only kind of balanced out the fact that I was sitting in the very last row - next to the bathroom**. The worst part of sitting back there is not that you're close to the bathroom, rather it's that the seats don't recline and you're *right* next to the engines. Another sign from God that buying those noise-canceling headphones was money well spent. At least I got the benefit of sitting next to the attractive woman, which (combined with the pretzels) balanced out the flight.

Now, before everyone accuses me of being a perv, there are very legitimate reasons why sitting next to the pretty girl is the "home run" of any business trip:

• First, they are pretty small, so they don't hog up the armrest with their rolls of belly fat and violate your personal space with their arm/meatbags.
  
• Second, they smell nice, which sure beats sitting next to the Eurotrash kid who doesn't believe in deodorant and just got off a nine-hour flight from Amsterdam.
  
• Third, they have social skills, but aren't (usually) rude. They will typically just mind their own business (great if you need to get work done on a flight) but are also pretty friendly (if you feel chatty) provided don't make an ass of yourself trying to hit on them.

On this trip, I had to get work done, so I kept to myself. But the non-stinkiness and getting to keep my personal space were great.

Oh, plus, I got a convertible when I picked up my rental car. And it's supposed to be sunny and mid-70's whiel I'm here. Good thing I brought sunscreen for my head!

* Where I am *this* close to being a Gold member. Early boarding privileges - woo!

** Number of people needing to pee during the flight? Six.